Make Any Divorce Better
by Ed Sherman Best-Selling Author of How to Do Your Own Divorce
Nolo Press Occidental
Santa Cruz, CA
Copyright 2008 by Charles E. Sherman
ISBN 10:0-944508-64-2
ISBN 13:978-0-944508-64-0
Library of Congress Control Number: 2007930632
Make Any Divorce Better is a nonfiction book written for people who are getting ready to, or thinking about going through with a divorce. This book attempts to explain to the reader how to navigate the rough emotional terrain of breaking up a family by dealing with the business of divorce the correct way and leaving the emotionality to the proper professionals.
Many people who are thinking of going through with a divorce have certain ideas, often misconceptions, about what happens in court, how hard your lawyer will fight for you, and what can truly be accomplished in our adversarial court system. This book honestly describes the weaknesses of our “system” of family law while helping the reader who wants the best for his or her family accomplish their goals.
Mr. Sherman, an attorney and founder of Nolo Press, describes honestly and methodically, steps to take from initial thought of divorce through completion of the divorce in a non-adversarial way. He has honestly thought out every side of the issues, not only the parents’ sides but the children as well. He even includes a handy CD with worksheets and sample agreements.
Make Any Divorce Better describes actual questions and intimates what the appropriate answers should be when interviewing an attorney. He explains that divorce is really about, “…property, support, [and] parenting.”(pg. 111) When you realize that is what your divorce is about then the rest really does not matter. It does not matter to the court, and it should not matter to you.
At its core, Make Any Divorce Better is about avoiding a legal battle that no one is going to win. It asks adults to work together in their own and their children’s best interests working to avoid an over burdened and ill equipped court system and a legal fight that ultimately no one wins other than the attorneys who collect your fee.
In the book, Mr. Sherman outlines questions to ask an attorney if you must get one but he also tells you how to talk to your spouse to negotiate an agreement outside of court. He tells you systematically how to find an attorney who will act as a mediator and simply write the agreement you and your spouse have already designed, saving time and money.
Make Any Divorce Better is a book that reasonable adults (or adults who want to be reasonable) going through this awful life transition should not only read, but also read repeatedly until they can react with Mr. Sherman’s logical no-nonsense approach. This book will work wonders for those people who truly do want a divorce that leaves them college money for their children.
While reading this book I was excited that someone was saying the things I always want to say. Which is, Work it out! It is foolish to go into court expecting a judge to work out your deepest emotional issues. Go to a counselor for that. Adults should settle the business of divorce in a logical, unemotional, fair way remembering that “fair” is not always equal. Who did what to who is not as important as what you are going to do with the rest of your life. The divorce should be an end to the trauma of your marriage; it should not continue the trauma in a courtroom and after.
Ultimately, the only thing missing in this book is the acceptance that not everyone wants a smooth, better divorce. Some people want drama, trauma, and war. While Mr. Sherman does address this problem, this book is written for people who will hear his message of compromise. Unfortunately, if you are involved in a divorce with a person who is hell-bent on making your life miserable there won’t be much working together and he does point this out.
Even so, I do not think anyone should go to an attorney or even talk to their spouse about divorce until they read, Make Any Divorce Better . Armed with the knowledge this book provides will indeed, "make your divorce better."
