Finances can cause a lot of sleepless nights and stressful days when you’re going through a divorce. Establishing a budget and creating a plan of action can go a long way towards alleviating some of your stress and can come in handy when you are negotiating your child and spousal support.
The best way to establish a budget is to first look at your fixed expenses. Fixed expenses are those that you cannot cut back in the near future.
Typically, that will include:
Rent/Mortgage
Utilities
Auto Payment
Gasoline
School Fees – band fees, science fees, book fees, etc…
Health Insurance- you might not be able to be on his plan anymore, look at what is out there, remember you can be turned down if you’re overweight
Savings- always put something away even if it’s only $5 a week
Some of these fixed expenses may be able to change too. For instance, it may be impossible to keep the family house; you might have to rent a smaller house or apartment instead. This is not ideal, but be realistic. You cannot squeeze blood out of a turnip.
Maybe you need to sell your expensive car and buy a more economical car. Don’t be foolish though, keeping a newer car can be better in many cases especially if you’re not handy under the hood.
Non-fixed expenses are those that can be adjusted downward in some way rather quickly. Some non-fixed expenses may include:
School Lunches- Children can take their lunch; you might qualify for free or reduced
Auto Insurance – adjust your deductible higher and your monthly bill will be lower
Telephone – change plans to find a better deal
Cable TV – get basic or cancel all together
Groceries – use coupons, angle food network, apply for food stamps or WIC
Entertainment – rent $1 movies; eat homemade popped corn at home
Gym/club memberships – go for walks outdoors
Extracurricular Activities – Children are often over scheduled, allow only one extracurricular activity per child.
You get the idea. The important thing is to write everything down and be realistic. You might not be able to change your situation today, but set a goal, and stick to it. If you have everything written down and a game plan, it will be a lot easier to convince your ex and if needed, the judge, of what you need. Do not forget the cost of attorneys. Some people are finding they save a lot of money to hire a divorce collaborator or mediator rather than entering into an acrimonious situation with two opposing attorneys. Seriously, if both parents are being responsible, upstanding, honest adults, the divorce shouldn’t cost more than $1000.
When writing your budget try using some of the online child support calculators to figure out what the courts will award you for child support. Write this figure down. This is pretty much set in stone. Most judges do not veer far from these figures. Add to that what you currently earn at your job. Then subtract your budgeted amounts from that figure. The deficit would be the amount you should ask for in Alimony or the amount you would need to earn at another job.
If you are a stay at home parent have your skills evaluated by going to your local community college. Many community colleges have programs that can help you determine if your current skills are marketable and at what rate. They can also help you determine if you need more education to become employable. Many will help you with your resume, and with interviewing skills.
Make sure that you document everything that you are doing because this will help you if you go to court to show that you are trying to help support yourself and your children to the best of your ability. Unless you have very small children under the age of two, it is very unlikely in today’s world that a judge is going to agree that you should not have to work, ever. In fact, the awarding of Alimony is very rare these days except in very long-term marriages with above average wages. What you see on TV and read in People Magazine isn’t the norm. Remember both parents now have to have a place to live, with room for the children to sleep, transportation, etc… not just one. One parent cannot be living under a rock while the other lives in a mansion.
Many organizations exist that will help you get back on your feet. Look for displaced homemakers programs through your local community college and call the department of human services or the welfare department to ask about programs. Oftentimes you can go to the local health department or the public library in search of pamphlets outlining programs in your area. If you are involved with organized religion, there is probably help there too. No one is really in this life alone; you only need to seek help to find it.
Make Any Divorce Better!: Specific Steps to Make Things Smoother, Faster, Less Painful, and Save You a Lot of Money
