In October an Arkansas judge held a father in contempt of court for promoting his new Mormon beliefs to his children.
He and his ex-wife, the mother of his children, had a voluntary agreement that was part of their divorce settlement, to raise the children in the Protestant faith. The father argued that such an agreement was a violation of his rights to freedom of speech. The court ruled that the original agreement would be upheld as a valid contract that can be enforced by the mother.
What does this mean to you? If nothing else this should be a reminder to be careful of adding extraneous agreements that the law doesn’t require to in your court ordered settlement. Or, it could be a reminder and encouragement to do, just that.
Regardless of our current constitution if you and your ex agree, in writing, in court documents to do something it is likely that the courts will continue to enforce it if asked to by one of the parties to the agreement. When coming up with items to put down forever in your settlement remember that your feelings about some issues may change down the road.
If your relationship is acrimonious you’re asking for trouble if you’re going to be nit picky. Seek, as much as possible, to leave moral judgment and opinion out of your divorce settlement. Items such as, not drinking around children, unless a proved alcoholic is just asking for the government to get into your business, as is stating in writing which church your children must attend. People grow and change over time and you don’t want to prevent a natural growth and distance from your ex from occurring by making shortsighted agreements.
I often tell women to get everything in writing, and it is for good reason, even the silliest item in writing can and will be enforced in court if a question arises. Picking your children’s churches may be going a little too far on the idea of getting it all in writing. If you don’t know for sure whether you will change or not, don’t put it in the papers.
Moderate drinking, which church to attend, political parties, type of marriage, living together and other definitions of “moral” behavior, or “sin” laws, should not be the domain of the government to enforce, don’t let them in that door if you do not have a compelling reason to do so.
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