Guest Author - Stephanie L Watson

What type of person are you? Do you see your glass as half full or half empty? Do you wait for the other shoe to drop, or do you accept and enjoy the good things that happen to you?

Emotions are cyclic

There are many stages that people go through during a divorce such as denial, anger, blame, bargaining, sadness, then eventually you come to acceptance where you can redefine and reinvent your life by reinvesting in yourself. Some people experience all of these emotions, some very few. Also, most people do not experience these emotions and feelings in any particular order. It's more like a cycle depending on the day.

Practice Happiness

During your marriage you thought you were one person, a wife, a mother, maybe a stay at home mom living in a nice house able to drive your precious children to school each day. Now, you must work, you had to move to an apartment, and you are not there for your children like you used to be. You're a single mom, your kids are latch key kids. This may sound horrible to you. If you ask most children, the thing that bothers them most is what bothers their parents most. If you have an upbeat spirit about the situation, so will the kids. Maybe not right away, but happiness is just as contagious as sadness. Practice thankfulness and try acting happy about your situation and seeing it as an adventure. Remember some people are homeless, an apartment looks pretty good when you're homeless.

Changing your Mind

It may sound silly but before you change your feelings you have to change your mind. Your divorce feels like a death, like an ending but in order to move on you have to realign your thinking to believe that your divorce is a beginning. If you are able to see that your life is now in a new stage of beginnings,with new adventures and challenges you are more likely to be able to allow yourself to pass through your grief to acceptance. You might even pass acceptance and arrive at gratitude.

Set a Time Limit

If you're feeling negative try setting a time limit. Tell yourself, “Ok I am having a bad day, but today is the only day this week I will allow myself to wallow, tomorrow will be better.” Then let yourself wallow, really wallow. Eat a pint of ice cream, and cry and moan. Call your mother, or your best friend, and let it rip. Then, wake up put a smile on your face and go on. It helps me to put on my favorite pink lipstick.

Moving Forward

Like anything else in life, moving forward and feeling acceptance is process. It is something you must actively seek to feel. Unless you work on changing your feelings and reactions, you'll always be the same. No one is eternally optimistic and happy all the time. Everyone has bad days and good days. The trick is learning how to keep your bad days and moments to a minimum. If you can shorten your bad day by even one minute, that is success.