Oftentimes during a divorce or even after it is long over there will be custody issues that arise due to misunderstandings and disagreements. Sometimes these issues are just a normal part of parenting, and sometimes they are directly related to divorce.
Most parents do not agree 100 percent of the time about issues surrounding raising a child, divorced parents are even less likely to agree but that doesn't mean you cannot come together for the sake of your child.
Some things to consider about custody, divorce and children:
Things Change
What worked five years ago, or even six months ago may not work for your situation today. As children age their needs change and as parents we should be flexible when making decisions that affect them. Not only do the children's needs evolve as they age, as parents we also grow as we recover from our divorce, we go back to school or get different jobs; all of which affect our ability or desire to be the main custodial parent.
Equal Rights Includes Parenting
The days where only mom's changed diapers are just as over as the days when only men paid for dates. Today is the time when parenting is an equal opportunity endeavor. Both men and women are equally capable of having custody, of nurturing, discipling and bringing home the bacon. Don't allow societal pressures to dictate custodial status.
Flexibility is Good
Being flexible about custody and schedules is a good thing for the children. There may be times when a child needs to live with their same sex parent, and a time when a child needs their opposite sex parent. Do not allow rigidness, tradition, or money to dictate where your child lives. Choose where your child lives based on what your child needs, what the parent is capable of, and simply what is right at that point in time. However, do not be so flexible that you lose all your time with your child. Custody does not have to be static. It can change and evolve over time.
Both Parents are Important
Having said all that, both parents are important at all times and children should be highly encouraged to love, respect and be with both parents as equally as is humanly possible. Sometimes that requires both child and parent to be understanding and flexible. Sometimes children will make up excuses about why they cannot see one of the parents at that point it is up to the parents to do the right thing and do what they can to facility parental involvement.
Out of the box Thinking
Thinking outside the box is important when raising a child after divorce. Children of Divorce often end up with many step-parents, grandparents, siblings and more. You cannot allow stereo types and tradition to label your child's family. The more people there are for your child to love and to love your child, the better.
If you give all of these things some serious thought you will find that your situation isn't really a tough issue at all. Given that all parents are adults, and parents, and can put their child's needs ahead of their desire to fight with,or hate the other parent, no matter who has custody, the children will turn out just fine.
