Guest Author - Stephanie L Watson

Finally, you realize one day that you're so over your divorce that you don't even "feel" divorced any more. Further, you wouldn't change even one thing about your life. You are happy, settled, and successful. You are not scarred and you are making good choices for your life. You even have a satisfying love life.

I know what you're thinking. You are thinking that I am nuts, that you will never be "over" the divorce. You will never be ready to move on. You feel as if you will be forever marked, "Damaged Goods." But honestly, if you do the work it takes to get better, you will get over your divorce and you will come out better than ever.

The reason I call it "Work" is that it is indeed, work. It is work to be completely honest with yourself. It is work to put off relationships and immediate gratification in order to "finding yourself." Also, it might feel like selfish work if you're a mother. But these are the things you truly need to do in order to finally move on after a divorce.

Truly look into your marriage honestly, without emotion, without blame, and identify the areas where you could have done something differently. Do not look at what he could have done differently only what you could have done. Remember you can only control yourself.

Take time before you start dating. Get to know yourself. Even the best of us lose part of ourselves when we become wives and mothers. It is natural to forget what we were like before we had all that responsibility. Also when we suffer a divorce our self esteem takes a plunge so you might not make the best choices in partners at first. Just take some time out from the pressures of a relationship at first, you won't regret it.

Another important task that will help you get over your divorce is to identify personal and professional goals and make concrete steps to achieve them. You can do this alone, or you can seek the assistance of a life coach or counselor. I highly recommend a good life coach. You can find Life Coaches via a variety of means. One way is to visit the Life Coaching forum here on Bellaonline.com. (link at bottom of this article)

No matter how you do this work, you must do it in order to get over your divorce and move past it to a better and more fulfilling life. Before you know it, you'll be the one to wake up one day and realize, you're finally over it.