Guest Author - Kimberly White
A quick search in Google for divorce rate in recession returns an oddly mixed bag of results; about half of the titles on page one of Google indicate that the divorce rate surges during a recession, and about half report that the divorce rate in the US has dropped by 40%. Why the contradiction now? It's likely due to the fact that money problems can trigger divorce, and more of us are experiencing financial strife than ever, combined with the difficulty of paying for a divorce and splitting property during tough financial times.
A low-cost divorce is tough to achieve, especially if you have children, but it is possible. However, an affordable divorces really depends on both spouses being willing to collaborate and cooperate, and not run up legal expenses for each other out of spite.
If you are faced with the possibility of a divorce now, but your financial situation is making you think twice, here are some options you may not have considered:
1. Ride it out and work on your marriage. Okay, maybe you don't want to even consider this, but it is possible that when the economy recovers and both you and your spouse are employed at full capacity, your marriage may recover, too. You owe it to your marriage to at least think about this as a possibility. And if you both think there is the smallest chance your marriage can be repaired, you may want to find a marriage counselor who charges on a sliding scale based on income. Try changing your attitude for three weeks, and see if it makes enough of a difference to start turning your marriage around...you may be surprised.
2. If you and your spouse agree that a divorce is best, if you can cooperate with each other, and if the cost of divorcing is the only thing standing in your way, you can opt for a "do it yourself divorce." Research together which papers you need to file and how to fill out the forms. Most jurisdictions offer a filing-fee waiver for those who qualify financially, and many states offer non-contested divorces. A do it yourself divorce will be more difficult if you have property or children, so call your county to find out if you qualify for free legal services.
2. Go ahead and file for divorce or separation, but continue living together if you can. You should consult an attorney if you choose this option, as living together may affect your separation status, depending on the laws of your jurisdiction. If you choose this option, take the time to set written ground rules and boundaries. And if you have children, make an extra effort to include them in the negotiations where appropriate. And always communicate with your kids on their level to minimize their confusion.
3. Rent a small apartment or room, and take turns with your soon-to-be ex-spouse living in the apartment, leaving your children in the family home. It's best if you can sign an agreement with an attorney's advice. Try to establish terms for a do it yourself, collaborative divorce during this time.
4. Share an attorney with your spouse. This is usually not a good idea, but if it's all you can afford, and if you and your spouse can cooperate and don't have children and/or large financial assets to divide, it may be an option. Remember, free legal services are often available for those who are unemployed or underemployed, so call your county's social services department or bar association.
5. If any abuse is involved, if you are in any danger, put your safety and that of any children first. Call a hot-line and find a shelter and counseling immediately.
It may feel like you can't support yourself in this economy, but many other people have pulled themselves up from nothing, and you can, too. Besides, you will be in plenty of good company. As the economy recovers, landlords find that so many applicants have foreclosure and late payments on their credit histories, that they are lowering the bar to meet the realities of today's market. Employers who check credit histories will likely do the same. Perhaps there has never been a better time to start over.
