During my many years of leading success trainings, I’ve found that women (in general) are much more reticent than men to ask people to pay them what they are worth.
Once, someone in one of my seminars said that she finally realized she wasn’t getting her job done as a manager, because she was just too concerned about whether or not the people she managed were going to like her. “And ‘nice’ only pays minimum wage,” she said. I thought that really summed it up “nicely!”
We women seem to have a tendency to believe we should nurture the world for free. We’re often afraid others won’t like us or they won’t think we’re “nice.” So we’re much more inclined to want to give away our services or sell ourselves short.
I’m not sure where this came from. Many think it’s the way we were raised, because we were supposed to be “nice” girls. Some of it must be influenced by demands and expectations from our society. And certainly there’s a biological tendency that naturally drives us females to be nurturing. But do we have to do it for free, or for next to nothing in return? I don’t think so!
Most of the men in my training sessions had no qualms about asking for money. They were often even willing to ask for more than the value they provided. Women, on the other hand, almost inevitably asked for way less - even those women who had already achieved a certain level of success. Usually it was because they were afraid they would offend somebody. They wanted people to like them and think they were “nice.” The problem is that clinging to this fearful point of view holds many women back from being all they can be in the world of business. It’s time we got over it!
One of my favorite stories is about a woman who owned a jewelry store in New Mexico. She had a huge stock of turquoise pieces that she had been trying to sell for nearly a year. They were just not moving, so she decided to reduce the price. Since the woman was hurrying off on a business buying trip, she scribbled a note for her assistant to set a new price on the turquoise pieces of “1/2 x tag amount.”
A week later, when the owner returned, her assistant said he had followed her instructions and bragged to his boss that he had sold every single piece of the turquoise jewelry – the entire stock!
“Wow, “ she said. “I guess I just had it priced way too high.”
“Too high!” her assistant replied. “But I thought you said it was too low. Didn’t you tell me to increase the cost by two times (‘2 x’)? I doubled the price because I thought that’s what you wanted. And everybody just started snatching it up at the higher price!”
You see, it’s a mistake to underestimate yourself or what you have to offer. Each of us is unique and has something special to contribute. And there are many people who want and are willing to pay for quality goods and services. Remember, being overly concerned about what others think can hold you back from success and earning what you’re worth, since “nice only pays minimum wage.” For Abundance and Prosperity Newsletter, click here.
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