Guest Author - Stephanie L Watson

It has been said that getting a divorce is worse than losing a husband through death. At least if your spouse dies, you have life insurance and the comfort of feeling as if your spouse loved you. But, with divorce, your spouse is still alive and going on with his life, possibly with someone else. Your financial life is likely ruined, and if your husband left you, it probably felt rather sudden and unexpected. You've lost your equilibrium and possibly the one person you thought you could go to when you felt anxious.

You probably feel like you're on the scariest roller coaster ride in the world at this point. You feel lost, your emotions go from one extreme to another, your guts feel ripped from your body. You find it hard to keep your mind on any one task as you go through the motions of your day. How are you going to get through this, you wonder. How can you ever survive with your insides out there on the floor being stepped on and stomped on?

This may sound rather simplified, but the truth is, the way you get through it is you just keep on, keeping on. You keep living. You get up every day and you breathe in and out, you do what you're supposed to do, be it work, taking care of your children, or grocery shopping. You do each task because you must.

While you're doing the things you must to get by, remember that you do not have to make any major decisions right this moment. You can take your time, seeking the advice you need from professionals and friends, before making any final choices. Do not allow yourself to be pressured into any sort of final agreement or arrangements. Give yourself a little time and space to adjust.

Do not do anything rash out of anger, sadness or fear. Anger can cause us to do things that we know is not in our own best interest. Sadness can cause us to get lost into our depression keeping us stuck to a point of never making any decisions, which essentially is a decision. Don't allow yourself to get so stuck that choices are made for you by a judge, your ex, or other people. Fear can cause you to recoil into yourself keeping you from seeking the assistance or companionship that you need to help you through this time.

Remember that you are not alone. You have friends, you have family, you have support groups and if needed coaching or counseling. Use this support system to its fullest. Your friends want you to talk to them about what you're going through. Your family needs to hear what you're going through because they are worried, tell them. While you're telling your friends and family let them know what they can do to help you because they are probably lost too and are not sure what they should do. There are many support groups out there. See what your church has to offer or look up support groups or divorce groups on meetup.com.

If you need further assistance seek professional counseling or coaching. A good counselor or coach can prevent you from sliding into a deep depression and can oftentimes better advise you than friends and family as they're have an outsider's view. The counselor or coach will not be worried that they're going to hurt your feelings if they tell you something you may disagree with. This can help you learn to move on past your divorce and not just survive but thrive.

Most of all, remember to breathe.