Guest Author - Stephanie L Watson

One of the things that is probably most confusing to deal with when you get a divorce is learning to live as a single person again. It sounds so simple but the truth is we all get used to living in our little nucleus. After all the paperwork is signed and the final decree is issued it is time to start building your new single life. How this evolves is Dependant upon whether you have children living at home, or not.


If like most divorced women you have young children living at home the way you build your single life will be vastly different from how you build your single life sans children. You have to be very careful about how you proceed when you have small children. Remember that living a single life does not have to include wild parting and illicit sex. It can simply mean that you don't give your ex husband a “honey do” list. He's not your honey anymore.

Learn to do things yourself

Believe it or not, being unable to call on your ex husband to change the oil, or fix the toilet might be harder than dealing with other aspects of single life. But, the mental freedom you gain by learning to do these things yourself is priceless. Whether you figure out how to do it yourself, or you hire out the honey do list, you're going to feel better not calling your ex.

Center yourself

In the bed, I mean. Sleeping alone can be an adjustment but if you sleep in the center of the bed you'll quickly wonder why it bothered you. Get some new sheets, new bedspread, if you can afford it, buy an entirely new bed it will really help your mental outlook and allow you to separate your bedroom from your former love life.

Nurture female friendships

Get to know women again, and nurture those friendships. Then, when the time is right, go ahead, put your toe in and date.

Get involved in your community

Join some clubs, or volunteer for a charity or cause that you support, and create a full life for yourself doing what you enjoy. You don't have to ask anyone's opinion about it. You're free to get involved in whatever you wish to whether it is church or a political group.

Date, when you're ready

It's okay, you're single. Being single often does include, eventually, dating. The key here is to allow some time to pass while you get to know yourself. Follow the usual rules and don't introduce your children to every date, meet them in public rather than having them pick you up the old fashioned way. It's both safer, and less confusing for your children. The great thing is, you can be ultra selfish during dating. So enjoy it while you can.

You are a family

Remember that you and your children are a family in your own right. Don't give up dinner at the table for dinner in front of the tube. Sure, it's okay occasionally. I love Friday Night Junk Night in front of the tube! Don't give up family outings either. Do all those things you used to do, as a single person, with your children. It's okay to be alone, being alone does not mean you have to feel lonely. Create new traditions and with your children and you as a family unit because after all you are not really alone when you have them.

Life as a single woman and mother can be wonderful, exciting and absolutely exhilarating. You just have to allow it to happen.