Twisted Commercial Details
Our Favorite!! We sing this all the time :)
In essence a row of little pigs is on a conveyer belt, go into a grinder and get plopped (as goo) into a can. In the background you hear:
"grind up a pig, put it in a can ... scrapple ...
grind up a pig, put it in a can ... scrapple ...
yes I am a scrapple man, think I'll have another can.
grind up a pig, put it in a can ... scrapple ..."
Major Woody's Spank Tank
Another classic. A little boy stands by a wall. The father off screen says, "Billy, do you want a battery?" Boy starts to say "All right" when the battery comes flying on screen and BASHES him in the head. He gets up as a red demon and says "I WILL CRUSH YOU". Major Woody's Spank Tank. It's giving you a hint that you need the battery for the tank on the Christmas Tree level.
How to Carry a Rock
This commercial shows a few ways of carrying or pushing a rock. These include pushing, pulling, and even carrying it on one finger. "hellloooo children. Have you ever wondered how to walk with a rock? Here are some ways that you can share with your sister. Brought to you by the How to Walk with a Rock Foundation."
This one always gets to me! It just says "ASSON we'll light your Asson fire." but there's a little upside-down oily bird laying on its back that he tries to hide. Poor bird!!
Tired of feeding your family one egg at a time? Get a yolkamatic! It goes to a photo which says "Wow!" Not available in Iowa.
You Think You're Evil?
An evil guy (kid) stands on a rock laughing. A voice says, "hey, you think you're evil?" It's for bad books - because a good book is a bad book. Titles include:
"No mommy not the clown suit"
"kittens make great jackets"
"why you'll be alone forever!"
Flaming Cop Car PSA
Things you probably shouldn't do. a public service announcement. It shows a kid leaping onto the hood of a cop car, grabbing the matches, leaping back to the truck and then using a propane torch to flame them. Really it's helping you out with the Joy Ride level, since you do that on that level.
Earth Day PSA
Things you probably shouldn't do. a public service announcement. Earth day - hug something organic. The little guy hugs the cactus. His eyes get huge. He he he.
Big Stupid Report
It's a news interruption - the big stupid report. "This just in. Researchers have just discovered the most annoying sound. Let's take a listen." Swirly screen while annoying screams blast you.
Good Bye Doggie
Charity is featured in this one. She says: "sometimes when people are better than me, I send good bye doggie". It shows the dog with dynamite in its mouth from the prize-guard area. Then she blows up the dog.
I Freeze You
A short commercial for one of the weapons. A cool guy says "I freeeeze you." Zap. Then he says "You are frozen." Mister Jared's Freeze Gun.
My First Chain Saw
Ages 2 and up. Just shows a little kid with a baby-hat on pulling the rip cord.
Happy Smily Filthies
Very brief with a few smiley circles, and ends abruptly. Bizarre.
A cereal commercial. The song goes:
nateos nateos why am I eating this
nateos nateos it tastes like monkey piss
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