MUSED
BellaOnline Literary Review
Sorcerer by Deb Bonam

Non Fiction


Face The Facts

Sheila Marie Sproule

It's my motherīs fault that Iīm getting wrinkles. There, Iīve said it. Sorry, Mom, but for once I feel justified in blaming you for something.

You see, when I was a baby, you would - as you were advised to - lay me on my stomach to sleep. And there it began...

Hereīs my theory. Being a stomach sleeper, I have become very aware of the pressure placed on my cheek, which appears to 'pudge' the flesh around my mouth and nose, creating an accordian effect. (Yes, I am looking in the mirror right now, pretending my hand is the pillow to see what goes on.) Hence the lines on my upper lip and the crescent-shaped wrinkles on either side of my chin. Is it a mere coincidence that my left side is more deeply wrinkled than my right? I donīt think so - I sleep predominantly on my left cheek, hanging off the side of the bed. (Apparently I am not a very balanced person.)

Iīve been lying wide-eyed at night contemplating my wrinkles. O.K., Iīm not awake specifically to worry about fine lines - sleeplessness just happens to be another symptom of middle years.

I have tried to change my sleeping position - back, side, standing, sitting. No matter what, I end up on my stomach. Clearly I canīt fight this habit of a lifetime, but perhaps I can try to reduce the inevitable wear and tear that it is causing.

Relax the neck. Stretch out those facial muscles. Unclench the jaw. Think nice, calm thoughts. Well, maybe it will help. It canīt hurt.

'Mayday! Mayday! Tightening muscles in the jaw. Relax! Relax!'

Potions, lotions, mantras, tantrums - Iīll try them all. I realise that Iīll never look ten years younger again, but for my own self confidence, I want to know that I at least look the best I can for my 45 years.

Oh, and by the way, Mom, donīt feel bad. Todayīs babies might be blaming their mothers for their flat, wrinkly bottoms in years to come!


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