In case you’ve been in a coma, living on a remote desert island, or you just finally learned what exactly a television does, I thought I would give a run down of this season’s storylines in the sitcom world.

To make it easier, we’ll move network by network, starting with CBS.

The “eye network” starts the week off right, showcasing their four sitcoms back-to-back-to-back-to-back on Monday nights.

First up is the hilarious, and quite addictive, “How I Met Your Mother.” In the season three opener, Marshall and Lilly are settling down into married life, but Ted and Robin are breaking free. Robin returns from Argentina with a new lover, Gael (Enrique Iglesias), and Ted decides to hit the town. With Barney by his side, Ted hits the bar scene looking to score. He hooks up with a wild, over-the-top party girl, Amy (Mandy Moore), and their adventures are “legen (wait for it) dary”

After that, Barney and Ted decide that girls are turned on by foreigners, so they try to pick up women posing as out-of-towners. The only problem is they seem to attract only out-of-towners themselves. In coupledom, Lily and Marshall have their first fight as a married couple, and Robin decides that maybe Gael isn’t such a great fit for her.

In the third episode, Barney and Marshall are so addicted to a video game that they stand Ted up at MacLaren’s. Left to himself, Ted meets a pretty girl and things start working out really well for him – until her old sorority sister shows up. Then things turn incredible. Both girls make a move for Ted and he invites them both up to his apartment – where Barney, Marshall, and Lily are hanging out.

Ted banishes the trio into a bedroom and tries to play it cool with the girls from the bar. Ted asks for advice on how to get the girls in his bed. Barney tries to give Ted pointers, only to reveal how he sabotaged himself when he finally had the opportunity to “ride the tricycle.” In the end, Ted and his houseguests entered his bedroom.

Robin, on the other hand, was not so successful. In an attempt to control herself, she decided not to shave, barring any opportunity at sex. She thinks herself pretty smart until she realizes she really likes her date. She goes to the bathroom to call Lily for help, but Lily is stuck in the apartment and can’t bring her a razor. She convinces the less-than-helpful waitress to run across the street and buy her one. She ends up in the bathroom with a disposable and butter, but hits her head and loses the guy to the waitress.

Lily decides to help her friend and sends her out with a single dad. Robin, who doesn’t really like kids, actually bonds with the six-year-old. Soon she feels things are moving to fast and breaks up with the little boy – and his dad.

Back in the bar, Marshall declares that just because he is married doesn’t mean he can’t help his friends in their pursuits. Ted and Barney decide to prove once and for all, who has better moves. They both go after the same girl and chaos ensues.

Watch it: Monday, 8 pm EST
Stars: Neil Patrick Harris, Josh Radnor, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, and Cobie Smulders


Next up is the new sitcom “The Big Bang Theory.”

Two physicists share an apartment and love of knowledge. They know absolutely everything – except how to function in normal social situations. All that is about to change when Penny moves in next door. Leonard immediately finds her attractive – and the key to a whole new world. Sheldon tells his friend he’s chasing rainbows, ‘cause it’s never gonna happen.

Being good neighbors, Sheldon and Leonard drop by Penny’s apartment to drop off a package for her. Love struck Leonard notices nothing out of the ordinary, but Sheldon is devastated by how messy and disorganized her place is. That night, Sheldon, who is a little OCD, decides to sneak into Penny’s apartment and straighten it up. Leonard tries to stop him, but Sheldon is a man on a mission. Penny wakes up mid-cleaning and is furious.

Leonard happens to see Penny kissing a guy and he is devastated. In an effort to cheer him up, his friends encourage him to ask out a coworker (played by Sara Gilbert). She turns him down (harshly) and the guys hit the community center for salsa classes. Finally, Leonard decides to ask Penny out. He thinks everything is moving in a good direction, just then Penny tells him she’s not looking to date anyone.

Sheldon, frustrated with his boss, lets him know where to take it, and as a result gets fired. Sheldon starts a downward spiral, and his friends send for his mommy to make things better. When she arrives, the guys are blown away at just how different she (Laurie Metcalf) is from her son. In the end, she gets him back together and the world is right.


Watch it: Mondays, 8:30 pm EST
Stars: Haley Cuoco, Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, and Kunal Nayyar


Wait! There are two more shows! Those recaps will be coming soon! Look for the next newsletter to keep you up to date.