In this column, usually the goal we're talking about is getting pregnant. Once you are pregnant, though, the goal changes. The new goal is to have a healthy baby, and indeed, even before that baby is born, you begin to think of him or her as a little person. You truly love your baby before birth.

Well, what if someone told you that you could talk to your baby before birth, and that your baby could talk back to you? You might think that's crazy, but that's the idea behind the book "Bond with your baby before birth," by Kim O'Neill, a psychic from Houston.

Those of us who have had babies have to admit that we talked to the baby before birth. Yes, we did. A lot. We rubbed our stomachs and talked, and our friends patted us, too, and talked to our bellies. The kind of talking that Kim is referring to is more mental, and she says that the babies talk to us, too. Sometimes, they talk to us in dreams, but she says that we can hear them anytime if we tune in. In addition to our future babies talking to us, Kim says that we have angels around us who we can talk to.

She claims that our future babies choose us as their mothers years in advance of their births and that they even choose their birth order, sex, future occupation, and appearance. So, then, if your son looks just like you, it's because he chose to look like you. She has a great point to support that with the example of music. Some children are naturally inclined to musical talent--why? She says that, in a past life, that child was a musician. She says that we have the same skills in life after life, which explains our natural affinities for certain things.

That's where some people will disagree with her. It does require that you believe in reincarnation. I don't know much about that, but it does explain a lot of things, like when you look at something and you just feel like you've seen it before. Or you meet someone and you feel like you are kindred souls immediately.

It is definitely true that when you're pregnant, you are hyper-intuitive. Chalk it up to the hormones, I guess, or perhaps you really are more in touch with spirits. I will never deny that pregnant women "feel" things at times, and they're right! Kim provides examples from clients on their intuition which are very compelling.

I found the idea that our babies choose us as their mothers an interesting one. She says that our babies come to learn from us as well as to teach us, and I can agree with that. Kim also writes that we can ask our unborn babies questions about them and about us. I felt comforted that my baby knew he would have certain challenges with me being his mother and chose me anyway. That helps with the typical "mother's guilt" that I feel from time to time.

She has an interesting explanation for miscarriages, too. She says that sometimes babies decide they're not ready, so they will cause a miscarriage. Anyone who has had a miscarriage knows that you spend a lot of time asking why, and so that is a different way to look at it. Supposedly, that same baby's soul will come in a later pregnancy.

I do differ with her on her dream analysis. I have read other books on dream analysis that I thought were better, but I'll give her some latitude in that dreams can tell us things. I just don't believe that any dreams are literal. I believe that dreams reflect emotions, not exact events.

I think that sometimes we obsess so much about getting pregnant that we overlook the forest for the trees--I mean, once you are pregnant, there will be a baby in 9 months. Bonding with your baby can never start too soon. If you're open to the idea of talking with angels and spirits, this could be a very fun exercise. It could even help you relax as you are trying to conceive to talk to your future babies and know that they have plans for their arrival!