Red hearts, red flowers and candy are everywhere. It tells all of us that Valentine's Day is almost here. Many people embrace this romantic holiday. Others believe it is a commercial holiday manufactured to sell cards and flowers.

It is impossible to categorize separated and divorced women during this holiday. Most people would expect divorced women to be angry, devastated and alone. Some may experience these emotions. Others may embrace this day as a day to love themselves as they are now free from a bad marriage. Still others celebrate the day with children, family and friends.

You may feel that on Valentine's Day, you have a scarlet "D" on your forehead. This is your imagination. On this day if you are unhappy or lonely, give yourself permission to do something nice for yourself. Send yourself flowers, take a bubble bath, cook yourself a wonderful dinner.

If you have children, start a Valentine's Day tradition with them. This holiday is about love and love comes in so many different forms. Spend the day with a friend and go to a movie.

You could also try to remember the good times with your ex. Yes, they may have been so far in the past, but there must be some positive memories. Even though the marriage ended, allow yourself to consider that at some point in the future you may be open to a romantic relationship again. If it is too painful to remember the past, disregard it.

If you are bitter and angry, look yourself in the mirror and ask if these emotions are benefiting you or the people around you that you love. The answer is clearly "no". Think of a one positive and try to focus on that positive. It does not need to be a big one, but something that will permit you to embrace a positive state of mind.

You cannot control everything that happens to you in your life but you can make efforts to control your reactions. This is not an easy and fast process. It is a small process that has many steps forward and some steps backwards. Embrace the steps forward, even if they are small.

Have a glass of wine, a pint of your favorite ice cream or smell a beautiful rose and wish yourself Happy Valentine's Day. You deserve it!