quotations Newsletter


May 4 2009 Quotations Newsletter

Greetings Dear BellaOnline Reader! It's Knock-Knock Monday #6! Enjoy a few corny knock-knock jokes and read about one of my favorite entertaining websites.

Last week I posted one of my fave articles by the late Erma Bomceck as a little early nod to Mother's Day:


And if you get a chance drop by our Quotations community forum at:


I hope to hear from you sometime soon, either in the forum or in response to this email message. I thrive on your feedback!

Have fun passing this message along to family and friends, because we all love free knowledge and all adore quotes!

Paula Grant-LeClaire, Quotations Editor


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Isaiah who?
Isaiah nothing till you open this door!


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I have my key!


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Darwin who?
I'll be Darwin you open the door...


And this week’s corny joke:

A young blonde woman was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with her unsuccessful shopping she shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The store clerk said, "By all means honey, go! Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" And so the blonde headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the clerk was driving home when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 12-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

She takes aim, kills the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The store clerk watches in amazement as the blonde flips the alligator on its back and shouts out in frustration, "Darn it! This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"


And here's your Quotes for the week:

MONDAY: "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia." ~ Charles Schulz

TUESDAY: "All my life, I always wanted to be Somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific." ~ Lily Tomlin

WEDNESDAY: "Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives". ~ Sue Murphy

THURSDAY: For you Star Wars fans -- "Duct tape is like The Force: It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together." ~ Carl Zwanzig

FRIDAY: "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." ~ Earl Wilson

SATURDAY: "When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter." ~ Stephen Wright

SUNDAY: "There's no such thing as fun for the whole family." ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Have a great week Dear Reader and come by the site and browse quotes to your heart's delight!

Unsubscribe from the Quotations Newsletter

Online Newsletter Archive for Quotations Site

Master List of BellaOnline Newsletters

Editor's Picks Articles
Top Ten Articles
Previous Features
Site Map