BellaOnline Literary Review
Three Women by Christine Kesara Dennett

If Only

Claire Crowley

Ripples in the pool
under the full moon sky, tonight.
Consumed with the thought
that I just might want to stay here forever,
and you,
you take my hand to
tell me the best things in life barely last a second, or less.
So I smile, a sad, tragic smile
and close my eyes.
Predictable, this will pass.
This feeling of being
alive and fragile
but bigger than the world
and free
but entangled in you.
The feeling of stomach churning, palms sweating, nervous fidgeting.
Laughter in memories
of late nights in dark places and smiles.
Smiles that let me forget the gaps between us, victims of bad timing.
Tragic, another place, another time. Why?
The glow of the dashboard witnesses
whispers shared with each other, never told
to those that were supposed to be closest to us.
This isn’t right, guilty conscience.
Somewhere someone waits for you to get home.
And we are in fact, complete strangers.
Complete strangers that complete each other
scary and unstable, but, what is a life of regrets.
You trace my deprivation of happiness
down the small of my back
in my wine stained dress
I promise to miss you
when you slip the ring on her finger,
out of my life and
into the darkness
beneath the ripples
of what could have been.

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