As is the case with most of the demons that we human beings need to face, the first step in overcoming fear of commitment is to acknowledge that it exists. Once you recognize its presence and the harmful effects that it is having on your love life, you can then begin the inner work that will need to be done in order for you to overcome your fear of commitment. It is important to note, however, that sometimes fear disguises itself as something else. You might, for instance, try to convince yourself that you donít necessarily have a fear of commitment but that you are too focused on academic or career goals that rob you of the time and the energy required to invest in a committed relationship. While this might sound like a good excuse to avoid commitment, it is usually just that Ė an excuse. After all, it is quite possible to enjoy a fulfilling love life while simultaneously pursuing academic or career interests but if you are afraid to do so, it is much easier to blame it on your ambitions than it is to admit to having a fear of commitment. As you can probably imagine, though, neglecting romantic relationships for the sake of other pursuits can often be a rather lonely road to travel on.
Overcoming fear is never an easy task. More often than not, it requires stepping outside of your comfort zone and confronting feelings that you would much rather sweep underneath the rug and forget about. As distressful as this might be, is it a necessary part of the process so the sooner you get it over with, the closer you will be to conquering the fear that has held your love life hostage for far too long. Check out the tips below for ideas on how to kick your fear of commitment to the curb.
- Identify the cause - In order to properly address your fear, it is important to figure out what is causing it. Does it stem from an emotional trauma in your past or perhaps from some underlying insecurities? Dig deep to find the root of your fear so that you can then work on confronting it. Try writing down any and all fears that you recognize. Sometimes just the process of getting them out of you and onto the paper will offer some relief.
- Weigh it out - Make a list of pros and cons related to the idea of making a commitment to someone that you feel is right for you. Ask yourself to identify both the best and the worst things that you can imagine happening to you based on that commitment.
- Accept the unknown - People tend to fear the unknown more than anything else, which is what can make commitment seem like such a scary thing. Recognize that despite all of your best efforts, there will always be certain things that you simply cannot control. The best way to defeat fear is to have faith in the fact that no matter what the unknown may bring, you can and you will get through it.
- Communicate openly - If you are with a partner that you feel is a good match for you but you are afraid of making a commitment to the relationship, share your fears with your partner and try to work it out together. Be honest with yourself and with your partner about your feelings.
- Seek counseling - If all else fails and you feel overwhelmed by your fear of commitment, donít be afraid to seek the help of a qualified professional who can help you work your way through it.