Many times, shyness is used as a self-defense mechanism. After all, it is far easier to surrender to shyness than it is to risk the possibility of humiliation and/or rejection by stepping outside of the protective emotional shell but the reality is that if you hope to enhance the quality of your dating life, then at some point you will need to find a way to break out of the shyness comfort zone that youíve undoubtedly established.
For ideas on how to tackle shyness and get back on track in the dating world, take a minute to explore the list of possible causes and potential solutions below.
- Low self-esteem - Itís hard to be friendly and outgoing if you donít believe in yourself or in what you have to offer others.
- Negative social experiences - If you have had to deal with a lot of rejection in the past or if you are still struggling to recover from a painful break up, it might be tempting to withdraw into shyness mode in order to protect yourself from the possibility of history repeating itself.
- Deeper emotional issues - Whether you are paralyzed by excessive fear or plagued by other intense emotional obstacles, it can be difficult to open up to others without first working to resolve some of those internal issues.
- Seek outside help - Friends and family members can sometimes be helpful but when dealing with particularly challenging issues by which you feel overwhelmed, it is always a good idea to see a professional therapist that can help you work those things out safely and effectively.
- Play an active role in your own development - As tempting as it may be, donít let yourself fall into the shyness comfort zone. Make a commitment to work on overcoming shyness. Branch out and get involved in social activities that provide opportunities for you to meet new people. Join clubs, take classes that interest you and accept social invitations as they arise. Consider giving online dating a try or have friends set you up with potential romantic interests. You can also make an effort to practice asserting yourself in non-threatening situations.
- Give your self-esteem a boost - Always focus on your positive qualities. Do what you know you are good at and praise yourself for even the smallest successes. Avoid doing too many things at once and be sure to always set realistic goals. You might also practice expressing yourself in creative ways such as writing, painting or photography.