The first step in getting out of an abusive relationship is to come up with a plan to get out safely. Having your plan written somewhere and kept in a safe place can help in times of panic. Here is a basic outline to get you started.
The following steps are my plan for increasing my safety and preparing to protect myself in case of further abuse. Although I can't control my abuser's violence, I do have a choice about how I respond and how I get to safety. I will decide for myself whether and when I will tell others that I have been abused or that I am still at risk. Friends, family and coworkers can help protect me, if they know what is happening and what they can do to help.
To increase my safety, I can do some or all of the following:
When I have to talk to my abuser in person, I can ________________________________
When I talk to my abuser on the phone, I can ___________________________________
I will have a code word for my family, coworkers or friends, so they know when to call for help for me. My code word is ________________
When I feel a fight coming on, I will try to move to a place that is lowest risk for getting hurt such as (at work)__________, (at home)____________, (in public)_________________.
I can tell my family, coworkers, boss or a friend about my situation.
I feel safe telling: ______________________________________________
I can use an answering machine or ask my coworkers, friends or other family members to screen my calls and visitors.
I have the right to not receive harassing phone calls.
I can ask to help screen my phone calls. (home)________ (work) _____________
I can keep change for phone calls with me at all times.
I can call any of the following people for assistance or support if necessary and can ask them to call the police if they see my abuser bothering me.
Friend _______________________________________
Relative ______________________________________
Coworker _____________________________________
Counselor _____________________________________
Shelter _______________________________________
Other ________________________________________
When leaving work I can: _________________________________________________
When walking, riding or driving home, if problems occur, I can: _____________________
I can attend a support group for women who have been abused. Support groups are:_______
____________________________________________________________________
Telephone numbers I need to know:
· Police/Sheriff's Department: ___________________
· Probation officer: _________________
· Domestic violence/sexual assault program:________________
· Counselor: ________________
· Clergy: _____________________
· Lawyer: ___________________
· Other: ____________________