The first step in getting out of an abusive relationship is to come up with a plan to get out safely. Having your plan written somewhere and kept in a safe place can help in times of panic. Here is a basic outline to get you started.

The following steps are my plan for increasing my safety and preparing to protect myself in case of further abuse. Although I can't control my abuser's violence, I do have a choice about how I respond and how I get to safety. I will decide for myself whether and when I will tell others that I have been abused or that I am still at risk. Friends, family and coworkers can help protect me, if they know what is happening and what they can do to help.

To increase my safety, I can do some or all of the following:

When I have to talk to my abuser in person, I can ________________________________

When I talk to my abuser on the phone, I can ___________________________________

I will have a code word for my family, coworkers or friends, so they know when to call for help for me. My code word is ________________

When I feel a fight coming on, I will try to move to a place that is lowest risk for getting hurt such as (at work)__________, (at home)____________, (in public)_________________.

I can tell my family, coworkers, boss or a friend about my situation.

I feel safe telling: ______________________________________________

I can use an answering machine or ask my coworkers, friends or other family members to screen my calls and visitors.

I have the right to not receive harassing phone calls.

I can ask to help screen my phone calls. (home)________ (work) _____________

I can keep change for phone calls with me at all times.

I can call any of the following people for assistance or support if necessary and can ask them to call the police if they see my abuser bothering me.

Friend _______________________________________

Relative ______________________________________

Coworker _____________________________________

Counselor _____________________________________

Shelter _______________________________________

Other ________________________________________

When leaving work I can: _________________________________________________

When walking, riding or driving home, if problems occur, I can: _____________________

I can attend a support group for women who have been abused. Support groups are:_______

____________________________________________________________________

Telephone numbers I need to know:

· Police/Sheriff's Department: ___________________

· Probation officer: _________________

· Domestic violence/sexual assault program:________________

· Counselor: ________________

· Clergy: _____________________

· Lawyer: ___________________

· Other: ____________________