Rape sometimes seems like a shadowy crime that happens in slums. It might surprise you just how many women are raped every single day, in all areas of the world.

Rape actually happens most often with a person the woman knows. One study in europe found that only 17% of rapes happened by strangers. The rest of the rapists were men the women knew.

A cross-age study in Canada found that over 23% of all women had been raped or had resisted a rape attempt at some point in their lives.

Even more frightening, a study in the US at a college found that 17% of the female students there had suffered a rape or attempted rape attempt in the past year. These were not rape attempts by hordes of wandering strangers. These were the men in their lives that were crossing the line.

It's very informative to compare this information with reported cases of forcible rape in New York City - certainly not a quiet town. Out of a population of 18.9 million people, only 3,530 reported rape cases were logged with the police department. If we assume that 9.4 million of those people are female, and let's say that 7.0 million of those women are "typical rape age", that is still only a .05% rape rate. Since actual surveys find rates that are much higher, it shows just how many rapes are never reported.

Why is this? Our surveys show that most women are raped by men they know. This could be a current partner, an ex-partner or a friend. Those women are often intimidated into staying quiet. Sometimes they forgive the attacker, figuring "it was a one time mistake" or "he was drunk". There are many different reasons why a woman would not turn in a known male as a rapist.

This is something we need to change. A violent sexual assault on a woman is a crime. It doesn't make the crime better if that attacker is known to the woman. If anything, it makes the crime far worse.

It is instructive to think 30 years ago, when people were ashamed of having cancer. They would not talk about it, and would avoid treatment because of that shame. In current times it is amazing to think that having a disease would be a "shaming thing". If we get breast cancer, we get full treatment, and we tackle the disease head-on. We have to reach that same level of knowledge and acceptance with rape. Rape is not shaming. It is an assault, and it needs to be handled.