Do you love yourself? Does this simple question bring a smile to your face or make you cringe in an uncomfortable way?
Many of us have heard that in order to love others, we must first love ourselves. Time and time again, I have observed this spiritual lesson and now a personal philosophy of mine to be remarkably beneficial in those lives around me and in my own life journey.
One might argue that self-love is narcissistic. It is perhaps true when self-love is taken to an extreme as one constantly disregards the wellbeing of others and strives solely for personal gains. However, most of us do not fall under this category. In fact, many practice so little self-love that our low self-worth diminishes our abilities to love others.
What is self-love? There is not a simple answer to this profound question. Acceptance, forgiveness, and caring for oneself perhaps are the essential elements of self-love. In accepting, forgiving and loving for ourselves, we learn the necessary skills to do the same for others as we develop healthy, caring relationships. It is simply impossible to offer others what we don’t already have.
Many of us grow up in a highly critical family environment. Those fortunate enough to be surrounded by supportive family members have inevitably learned the painful immorality of criticism in school, work or our fast-pace, media driven society. Sadly, little by little, we have learned how to be critical of ourselves and forgotten to honor our uniqueness even when others are no longer there to criticize us.
So how do we love ourselves? Below are lists of simple yet practical steps covering the essence of self-love. Starting today…
1. Accept who you are! Yes, even when you least feel like doing so. You are a beautiful, amazing human being who offers the world much goodness through your unique talents. Someone once told me “God does not make mistakes” (for those believe otherwise, “Nature” doe not make mistakes), as each life is a gift to be celebrated. Do not envy others as that takes away special opportunities to recognize our own beauty. We can be and are loved for just the way we are.
2. Forgive our shortcomings. We are all human, and that means we are bound to make mistakes, in fact, many of them! A lot of us love to measure ourselves to some ideal and flawless standards that are simply impossible to achieve if we value our sanity. It’s OK to make mistakes, and it is OK not to be perfect. We all need to stop kicking ourselves, and instead, give ourselves more pats on the back for trying our best. If our mistakes bring us growth and understanding, perhaps the difficulties are worth it.
3. Take care of ourselves daily. Do you remember to do the simple things such as taking your vitamins or going out for a walk to energize your body? When was the last time you had a bubble bath with candlelight where you felt rejuvenated? In the hectic day-to-day modern existence, we often become lost in taking care of our work, bills, and family as we have slowly forgotten to take care of ourselves. Starting today, do one thing daily that is good for you, only you. When we are no longer tired, anxious or angry, we become better caretakers for our family and friends.
Marveling in the sea of life is not always an easy task. However, our lives are truly a blessing and are worth celebrating! Be gentle, and take great care of ourselves as our love and uniqueness can bring much joy to others when we can finally accept and love who we are.

