In many social situations, positive interactions are often based more heavily on what your body is saying than on what may come out of your mouth. Of course it’s important to speak clearly and intelligently but because a great number of social exchanges occur through non-verbal means, it is equally important to understand the nature of body language and how it can work for you.

Body language refers to a form of communication that uses non-verbal cues such as physical movement, gestures and facial expressions. Though usually performed mostly on a subconscious level, these cues can easily influence the way in which the general public will perceive any given person. Becoming familiar with the way that body language works will inevitably help you use it to your advantage in social situations. Unlike verbal expression, however, body language is much less predictable, not to mention significantly more vulnerable to misconceptions.

There is no exact science when it comes to interpreting body language and outside factors can also play a role so be sure to keep an open mind. Much of the information available about body language today can be somewhat misleading in that it sometimes fails to recognize individual differences and levels of understanding. Every person and situation is unique and should be treated as such. As a general rule of thumb, remember that the better you are at speaking body language, the more skilled you will become at interpreting it accurately from other sources.

The most effective way to hone your non-verbal communication skills is to cultivate an ongoing awareness of the signals that you are sending out. Initially, this task should focus strictly on personal observation. Pay close attention to your posture, habits, facial expressions and gestures. Do you make a lot of eye contact? Are you more likely to tense up in certain situations than in others? Do you smile naturally and often? If you don’t think you can be objective in this practice, ask a close friend or family member to offer an honest perspective. Once you have gained some insight, evaluate your findings to determine which behaviors elicit the most effective responses and which ones may need to be consciously monitored or modified. Though culture and context both play a critical role in the interpretation of body language, there are some common elements to consider.

A genuine sense of relaxation allows the body to convey a more positive message. If you find yourself feeling stiff or tense in any given situation, make a conscious effort to loosen up. You also want to try and avoid fidgety behavior since this is typically viewed in a negative light. The ability to appear relaxed and comfortable will undoubtedly make others perceive you as a more approachable person. It is very important to seem approachable as this greatly enhances your odds of making new social and/or romantic connections. On the other hand, it is usually easy to tell if someone is trying too hard to seem relaxed so do your best to act as naturally as possible.

The most telling messages delivered by your body tend to originate in your eyes and on your lips. Eye contact is a tricky operation to master but if used correctly, it can be a very effective tool to use during social interactions. Whenever possible, make it a point to look people in the eyes frequently but without lingering so much that it becomes uncomfortable for both of you. Knowing how often and for how long is the trickiest part. Unfortunately, there is no universal answer to this conundrum. Your best bet is to simply let instinct and personal judgment be your guide.

Last but not least, smile regularly and genuinely. There is no symbol in the body language inventory more valuable or more widely accepted and understood than an honest and natural smile. Not only does it add significantly to the approachability factor but it also communicates a sense of warmth and authenticity. Best of all, smiles tend to be highly infectious and rarely go unreturned!