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Strengthen Your Marriage

I go out with another man. He’s a platonic pal who I’ve known since middle school. Even in today’s age, that raises eyebrows. But not my husband’s. He is fully secure in our marital relationship and believes me when I say this man is a friend only. Our marriage is strong. Fort Knox strong. Maybe even stronger.

So if a beautiful, alluring young woman should attempt to break in-even with a key, I know that alarms would go off, the SWAT team would sweep in and our marriage would be intact. Safe and strong.

We’ve been married for nearly 30 years and spent much of them strengthening our marriage. Here is how you can do the same:

Be the person any spouse would want. What type of person does your spouse enjoy being with? What type of person would you want to be with? Critical or accepting. Nagging or tolerant. One who offers love with strings or one who offers unconditional love.

One of your most important goals should be to keep each other happy. It should warm your heart to see a smile on his face, whether it comes from a surprise treat or his favorite sport team ticket. Your goal should be to take pressure off of each other, not add more burden or responsibilities.

Eliminate demands. Why do we demand so much from each other? Why does it take nearly losing each other (death, health crisis, infidelity) to realize that no other life goal is more important than simply enjoying time with each other? No, not even a clean house.

Be loyal. That doesn’t only apply to your sexual relationship but your emotional relationship. Be each other’s best friend. And what is a friend but an unfailing supporter and trusted confidante? I can’t understand how spouses treat each other like the enemy when they should be each other’s loyal sidekick, ready to defend and protect.

Encourage each other goals. Believe in each other. Help each other reach desired goals even when those goals aren’t shared.

Laugh together. Laughter is healing and bonding. Laughter lightens the stress load of everyday life, and it makes everything fun and pleasant.

Have sex together often. I say this often but it is so vital: sex releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. (Laughing during sex, however, may have unexpected results.)

Treat each other better than you treat any one else. Too many times, couples feel that their familiarity and bond gives them the freedom to “let down their guard” at home and forget courteous words and kindnesses. They save their best behavior-random acts of kindness, politeness and such-for strangers and outsiders. Your spouse deserves the best from you even at home. It doesn’t take any more energy and effort to say things nicely than to say things gruffly. If it does, your “nice” muscles need more work outs.

Learn and grow together. Find new adventures in life to experience together.
Stay away from temptation. If you are aware that either or you have a weakness, abstain. “If you want to avoid the fruits of sin, stay out of the devil’s garden.”

Weather the bad storms. Getting through tough times bonds mates. The more harrowing the event, the stronger the bond. It happens with military units that survive war. Don’t drum up a crisis. There will be plenty in life that will come naturally.
When a crisis appears, remember to stay on the same side. Even if he made a mistake, help him fix it and move on together.

Finally, be the person who loves your spouse the most. I always tell my husband that although anyone would love him, I’m the one woman on the face of this earth who loves him the most. He means everything to me and I would go to the edge of hell and back-and have-for and with him. Come what may: Our love and our marriage will endure.

Women have propositioned my husband during our marriage. One night, a brazen lady rolled down her car window and asked if my husband wanted to go someplace. When he said he was married, she replied, “I won’t tell if you won’t tell.” He rolled up his car window and drove home--to me.

If more spouses put forth effort to strengthen their marriages, when threatening storms appear, they’d just put up an umbrella and dance in the rain.

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