ďHi, Iím looking for a big hulking guy who is willing to take care of me, and provide me with everything I could possibly want from life. Suit of Armor required and is expected to be worn at all times and there will be no off duty hours. Extraordinary appearance is a must. Only perfect Sir Lancelot type Knights should respond.Ē
If you were posting your profile on an online dating service would this be similar to your listing? Do you think that the needier you are the more likely you will be to attract a Sir Lancelot type of guy to protect and defend you for life? Donít blame yourself if you think this is the way to attract a guy. Women have been portrayed as bubble headed damsels in distress in books and movies for a very, very long time. Now Iím not saying you canít choose that as your personal style, but in todayís world, I wonder if it will be terribly effective; and are you sure you really want a guy who runs about in a suit of armor throwing his weight around. Iím guessing that armor might keep a guy off balance a lot of the time and he might not be very happy if heís always expected to wear that heavy armor day in and day out. Wouldnít it be far better if he had better attributes than a shiny suit - like consideration, concern, and respect?
Expectations seem to be a big culprit in destroying relationships before they even get past the first date. This is not only a one sided process being carried out by the Damsel it is probably also being carried out by the Knight. Perhaps the Knight is looking for more than a needy bubble head but he also wants a hot looking girl to escort about town and to special events; but maybe he doesnít want to spend any additional quality time with her so that she doesnít get the idea heís really in to her and expect any kind of a commitment from him.
Now if the Damsel is looking for a lifetime commitment and love and the Knight in Shining Armor is looking for a good looking companion to spend some time with occasionally the results are a clash of expectations. Whatís next? Control your expectations. Expect less, hope for more. Be considerate and show respect. Be a friend. Be yourself, who is hopefully not some bubble headed needy Damsel in Distress. The more you respect yourself the more likely it is that others, even the Knight of your choice, will respect you and you will both enjoy spending time together.
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