October 15 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. A lot of people aren't aware of this unless, they've actually lost a baby through miscarriage or other circumstances. The day is not only an excellent opportunity to memorialize your miscarriage and honor your loss but also to increase other people's awareness of miscarriage and infant loss.
If you've suffered a miscarriage or infant loss, you know how devastating and traumatic these losses can be. However, while it may have turned your whole life upside down, you may have also been perplexed by a decided lack of sympathy and information. Most pregnancy books, skate over these losses as if they barely ever occur. People may not know what to say to you. Your friends and family may wonder when you're going to “get over it” and you may feel very alone.
On October 15, in all time zones, people will be lighting candles at 7pm in a remembrance ceremony. The official October 15th website says “If everyone lights a candle on October 15 at 7pm in ALL time zones, there will be a continuous WAVE OF LIGHT over the entire world on October 15. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.”
In addition to information about the Wave of Light Ceremony, the October 15th website has excellent information on support groups, ways to raise awareness and ways of coping with grief. If you click on the “Meet the Staff” button, you can read profiles of the founders of the site, all of whom have experienced miscarriage, pregnancy or infant loss.
Finally, the site includes an online store where you can purchase memorial keepsakes. Available for sale are ornaments, charms, jewelry, decals, t-shirts among other things. Some of these items can be personalized.
I spent a lot of time after my miscarriages, trying to “forget”. They were just too painful. I wanted to not hurt anymore. But after many years and five miscarriages, I've come to the conclusion that it's better to remember. Eventually, you can learn to live with a miscarriage but I don't think you ever actually “get over” it. This is why Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is so important. The more we talk about these losses, the more we can help ourselves heal and help others understand what we've experienced. It's important to honor our losses and take time to remember the babies we never got to know.