One of the few things that really gets my goat, is a leaker of a hose. Of course, this only happened when I became an adult, you see, because as a kid, there were all sorts of things that could be done with a leaking hose.

They make great impromptu bubblers, or water fountains if you didn't come from Milwaukee, just let the water gurgle out and into your mouth. Never mind the few blades of grass that always seemed to come with a refreshing drink like this, that extra fiber was good for you anyway.

Holding up a squirting leaking hose towards the sun made a great rainbow effect, and if it was a hot day out, it was a wonderful way to cool off! Of course, the ground that the hose leaked on was always soft, cool and squishy, so being barefoot and mushing around in that wetness was an easy way for a quick little smile. And since my folks always had leaking hoses, I was sure smiling a lot when I was a kid.

The interesting thing about this, is that I still smile when I see a leaking hose. But now I smile with the knowledge that I know how to make it stop.

Hoses leak for only a few reasons. Either improper connections, damaged connectors, or holes. Improper connections are the most common, like noticing where there is dripping or squirting water from the spigot, or a joint between hoses and accessories, so let’s begin there.

Make sure there is a washer between any hose connection. They are common and cheap, and can be found at any hardware store. Here’s a little trick. Liberally coat both sides of the washer with petroleum jelly and then join the connections together. Hand tighten, and then give it a quarter turn with an adjustable pliers. Say goodbye to one potential leak.

Sprinklers, fountains, hand nozzles, and any other type of connection, they should all receive the same treatment, and you will be leak free.

Holes are a bit different, but no less easy to repair, and instead of paying full price to replace the hose, you can spend a mere fraction to repair it. Just go to any Wal-Mart and they will have a variety of hose-mending connectors, most of which are dirt cheap. Simply cut the hose in two where the hole is, and join each half to the connector. Once again, use petroleum jelly where they connect, spreading it on to make a firm seal, but also, this will easily allow the hose to slide on. When both sides are joined, just clamp them down with the supplied clamps and that’s it! See-ya-later to another potential leak!

But most of all, if on a hot summers day you happen upon a leaking hose in the grass, before you do anything else, do this. Take off your shoes and socks, let the kid inside of you out, then step where it’s all cool, wet, and squishy.

It’s still the best way I know of for a quick little smile.