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Forgiving Denial of Access to a Child

Many people around the world are aware of the recent case involving American David Goldman and his long voyage trying to win custody of his son who was living in Brazil with his mother's family. Although there is no doubt, there will be transition issues for Mr. Goldman and his son, the custody portion of the voyage is over.

According to a MSNBC article which quoted an interview with Mr. Goldman, he advised that he would allow his son's maternal grandmother to see his son. While the details will certainly be the subject of significant negotiations between lawyers, it is Mr. Goldman's statement that is the subject of this article.

There is no doubt that based on the published reports of this situation, Mr. Goldman has endured considerable pain and trauma during this experience. The fact that he has publicly stated he will permit the child's grandmother to visit the child is significant.

Although few people have dealt with facts such as Mr. Goldman's, his experience provides the opportunity for all divorced persons to examine their own beliefs and actions.

There are many people who have been denied the opportunity to see their children. Sometimes it is for good reason - physical and verbal abuse or abuse of substances. Other times it can be as the result of revenge or retaliation on the part of the parent or relative with primary custody of the child or children.

This article will focus on the later. Denying a loving parent access to a child is certainly extremely difficult for a parent to endure. Some parents win the right to see their children and some do not.

Enduring this behavior is difficult enough, but overcoming the pain and hurt is rare.

The key issue is the willingness to forgive. Trying to overcome this type of pain certainly must require tremendous control of emotions. It would certainly be easier to permit yourself to exact revenge against the person who deprived you of your child. The ability to look past this and even desire and support your child's relationship with such a person evidences a person who is clearly trying to put their child first.


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