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BellaOnline's Divorce Editor

Thanksgiving Holiday

It is natural to focus on the possessions and relationships that other people have that you would like in your life. This focus however is not healthy and can only lead to pain and other negative thoughts.

The first Thanksgiving after a divorce or even one years later can be difficult. Even if you left a bad marriage, there are still customs and comforts that come with being part of a married couple. You begin to wonder who will carve the turkey and will you feel uncomfortable being alone at Thanksgiving dinner.

You may look at friends and family that seem to have what you want and feel twinges of jealously. The twinges of envy are not the issues, it is how you handle the longer term feelings.

First acknowledge your emotions. They are real and they need to be acknowledged. However, do not dwell on them. Think about the blessings you have in your life. Every person's blessings will be different. Some people have children, others have friends, family is important and others find fulfillment in giving back by volunteering.

If you see someone with a wonderful relationship, try to understand the positive things that help make this relationship a good one. This does not mean you should be in a hurry to be in a new relationship or marriage, but attributes such as compassion and good communications can help enhance all of your relationships.

Make an effort to smile and participate. Before you know it, the smile will not be forced, but will be genuine. Focusing on the positive is the best Thanksgiving holiday gift you can give to yourself.

While it is true that you may think there is little to be positive about, if you close your eyes and think you will find a positive aspects to your life. Think about a small kindness that may have made someone's day or something someone else did for you that you appreciated.

If you continue to feel sad or are depressed, please seek professional help. Having someone with the proper training to speak with is very important. Do not be shy or feel ashamed. It is important to ask for help if you need it.

I wish everyone a happy and blessed Thanksgiving holiday.

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