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BellaOnline's Divorce Editor

Make Resolutions Realistic

The beginning of January is a time many people make resolutions. They are often very demanding and unrealistic. The hope that we will achieve them can give us an adrenaline rush. The problem is that people often fail to reach these lofty goals.

There is then the resulting depression, anger and sometimes even excuses made about why the goal was not achieved. It does not need to be this way. Making goals realistic is important. When you originally think of the goal, you may not be tremendously excited, but when you achieve your goal, you will feel very positive about yourself.

It would unrealistic to not speak about weight loss in the same sentence as New Year's resolutions. While many Americans may need to loose weight for health and other reasons, this country's obsession with numbers on a scale scares me.

In my opinion, it is important to speak with your doctor or a professional before embarking on a weight loss program. Furthermore, exercise and eating healthy food should be a key goal. The scale will eventually register this healthy lifestyle. Will you be successful loosing fifty pounds? Maybe you will, but even if you don't it is not a failure. If you are healthier and feel better and your doctor is pleased, then that is a victory, even if the scale shows a minimal difference. It is important to love yourself as you are.

Many divorced people make resolutions related to moving on with their lives. That is wonderful and hopefully will be achieved. However if your goal is to own a sports car, buy a beach house and get a new significant other all by April, 2011, you may be disappointed. Perhaps making new friends, joining a book club or buying a new outfit will provide satisfaction and assist you in moving forward in a positive way.

If you have children with your ex-spouse, a wonderful resolution is to never allow your anger or annoyance with your ex-spouse to impact the children. This is easier said than done, but with every effort, you will move closer to achieving this important goal.

I wish everyone success on achieving their New Year's resolutions and Happy New Year to everyone.

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