Relationships are never perfect. Whether romantic in nature or not, every relationship comes with its own special brand of issues. Part of our individuality is comprised of unique qualities and characteristics that make us who we are. The multiple ways in which others react to these unique qualities will determine the course of our interactions with those people. When it comes to familial interactions, obligation is almost always the driving force. No matter how many issues we may have with our brother, sister, mother or father, the fact that they are family nearly always requires us to tolerate much more than we normally would under other circumstances.

While we may not get to choose our families, we have complete control over whom we accept into our lives as friends and romantic partners. This is partly what makes friendships and romantic relationships so important; they are the families we choose. Dealing with the issues that come with those chosen relationships is the price that we pay for those whose presence we value in our lives. Since we have more of a say in what we are and are not willing to tolerate from those we choose to have in our lives, many of us tend to guide our decisions according to a private list of deal breakers.

Deal breakers are an important part of the dating game. A deal breaker is something that one person in the relationship is simply not willing to tolerate from the other. It is a specific trait or issue that prevents the relationship from going any further. Since deal breakers are unique to each person, it’s hard to predict what other people’s deal breakers might be. What may be a deal breaker to one person might only be a nuisance to another. No matter how silly your deal breaker may seem to others, no one else can tell you what you should or should not put up with in a partner.

It’s true that successful relationships take work and a significant amount of compromise. For that reason, there will inevitably be situations in which someone might be compelled to tolerate unpleasant or undesirable qualities in another to a certain degree. Expecting perfection from anyone will only lead to disappointments. But for your own safety and sanity, it is equally as important to draw a line in the sand and define what you don’t want in a partner as clearly as you define what you do want.

Following is a list of the five most common, dating deal breakers. Check them out and see how they compare to your own list.

* Physical/emotional/verbal abuse

* Infidelity

* Alcohol/nicotine/drug use

* Poor hygiene/appearance

* Excess emotional baggage