I thought Iíd buy a new machine, the sort that does the lot,
So went down to the local shop to see what they had got.
Iíd like a really modern one with those controls you press
So I could do heirloom sewing or embroider on a dress.
I took home several brochures, the sort that make you drool,
And they make it look so easy, but of course, I am no fool.
My choice was narrowed down to two, I worried through the night.
The John just said, ďItís easy Love, the brochure on the right.Ē
They sat me down and taught me the ďhowsĒ that make it sew
I just canít wait to get it home, I long to have a go.
I have a thick instructions book and video as well,
I wonder dare I touch it. Yes! Here hoes! What the hell!
Hooray! Iíve got it sewing straight. I touch zig-zag to try,
One of heaps of other stitches that tantalise my eye.
So now Iíll test its memory, I read up what to do.
I programme fourteen stitches, but it only stitches two.
Oh Hell! This is frustrating, Why wonít it do it right?
I scrabble through the ruddy book (and I thought I was bright)
Itís like the genie in the lamp for as the weeks go past,
I make it do the things I want, itís repertoire is vast.
You can do it on a T.Shirt, a shirt or evening gown
You can do it in a mirror, you can do it upside down.
Though I can choose twelve button-holes, canít sew a quilterís seam
And sewing tapered satin stitch is nothing but a dream.
Canít take it to a quilting class (to skite would be some fun)
I have to take the old machine, the new one weighs a ton.
Iím glad I kept old faithful for with him I learned a lot
Thereís lots of things that he can do, the newer one cannot.
I said as much to John tonight, these thoughts that fill my head.
Iíve a soft spot forold faithfull, He winked, Letís go to bed.
By Jenny Riley
Copyright Permission granted to Judie Bellingham to reproduce this poem