The Update (Buying a new machine)
I thought I’d buy a new machine, the sort that does the lot,
So went down to the local shop to see what they had got.
I’d like a really modern one with those controls you press
So I could do heirloom sewing or embroider on a dress.
I took home several brochures, the sort that make you drool,
And they make it look so easy, but of course, I am no fool.
My choice was narrowed down to two, I worried through the night.
The John just said, “It’s easy Love, the brochure on the right.”
They sat me down and taught me the “hows” that make it sew
I just can’t wait to get it home, I long to have a go.
I have a thick instructions book and video as well,
I wonder dare I touch it. Yes! Here hoes! What the hell!
Hooray! I’ve got it sewing straight. I touch zig-zag to try,
One of heaps of other stitches that tantalise my eye.
So now I’ll test its memory, I read up what to do.
I programme fourteen stitches, but it only stitches two.
Oh Hell! This is frustrating, Why won’t it do it right?
I scrabble through the ruddy book (and I thought I was bright)
It’s like the genie in the lamp for as the weeks go past,
I make it do the things I want, it’s repertoire is vast.
You can do it on a T.Shirt, a shirt or evening gown
You can do it in a mirror, you can do it upside down.
Though I can choose twelve button-holes, can’t sew a quilter’s seam
And sewing tapered satin stitch is nothing but a dream.
Can’t take it to a quilting class (to skite would be some fun)
I have to take the old machine, the new one weighs a ton.
I’m glad I kept old faithful for with him I learned a lot
There’s lots of things that he can do, the newer one cannot.
I said as much to John tonight, these thoughts that fill my head.
I’ve a soft spot forold faithfull, He winked, Let’s go to bed.
By Jenny Riley
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