When a person suffers from a mental illness, they often suffer alone.

The advances in recognizing and treating all sorts of mental illnesses have come a long ways, but getting society to understand them is still a battle we are facing.

I say, “We” because mental illness is a reality in our family. I suffer from Depression and Bi-Polar, and my oldest son has Asperger’s and has also received a separate diagnosis of Bi-Polar (not something often done with kids on the Autism Spectrum).

I know the pain of wanting to stay in bed and not face anyone, of being struck with a panic attack in the middle of the grocery store and having to leave all my groceries in the cart in the middle of the store and run out. I know what it feels like to have people in my face saying, “Just get over it”. “You have to take care of your kids”, “Your husband is going to leave you if you don’t stop calling him all the time.”

These aren’t comments from strangers, these are from people who love me that are trying to help! Many of you know what I’m talking about.

So that brings us to a holiday like Valentine’s Day; a day of love meant for couples.

Even if you have a significant other in your life, it is hard to feel attached when in the middle of a depressive state. If you aren't in a relationship, then the feeling of isolation can be overwhelming.

One of the biggest reasons we tend to feel so remote is because we more than likely do not have a person in our lives that is suffering the exact same thing that we are. It is hard for people to understand what “Depression” really is if they have not felt it themselves. Most people just think of it as really deep sadness. Even people that want and try to understand can only sympathize with us, not empathize.

The thing to understand is – we only feel alone. Depression is an illness, a malfunction of our brain that is causing us to want to hide from other people.

Sometimes it is hard to remember that. We are humans; our emotions make up a large part of who we are. But we can also be rational and say to ourselves, “this is not real, I have people who care for me”.

I’m not saying you have to be turning cartwheels, just that sometimes you need to ignore what you are feeling and listen to what you know.

And if you are alone, if you have no family?

You don’t have to stay that way.

There are support groups made up of people going through the exact same thing that we are. They understand the pain of Depression. They have wanted to pull the covers over their heads, they have wanted to stay in bed all day, and some of them have even attempted suicide. These are the people that can empathize with you, not just sympathize.

True, these support groups (such as Emotions Anonymous ) may not be the romantic ideal for Valentine’s Day; but roses, stuffed animals, and chocolate hearts cannot compare to what these people offer – camaraderie and understanding.

Instead of hiding in isolation this Valentine’s, seek out others that suffer just as you do. Not only will it benefit you, you may be saving someone else’s heart as well.