by Steven Wright
- "The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney..."
- "If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
- "Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."
- "Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
- "I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again."
- "I didn't get a toy train like the other kids, I got a toy subway instead; you couldn't see anything but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by."
- "I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen."
- "I installed a skylight in my apartment... The people who live above me are furious!"
- "I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age."
- "I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it."
- "I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second."
- "I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
- "I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically."
- "I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is."
- "Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that.""
- "If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?"
- "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
- "It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others."
- "It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it."
- "My theory on evolution is that Darwin was adopted."
- "(Referring to a glass of water) I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!"
- "Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here.""
- "There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot."
- "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
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Old Fisherman Crossing Sign, Westerly Beach, RI Framed Photographic Print
Buy at AllPosters.com
