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BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor

How to Love Yourself – the Secret to Happiness

The source of all health and happiness is a good self-concept. In other words, if you have good self-esteem, you will be a powerful magnet for the good things in life. This is not a fairy tale or some elusive mystical concept.

During the course of our lives others erode us, criticize us and make demands on us, including parents, teachers and friends. We begin to feel as though we don’t quite measure up; we’re not good enough. Our nagging doubts get transmitted to others both consciously and subconsciously. Once we begin to second-guess our competence and lovability, we look to others outside ourselves to validate us on an internal quality. Shouldn’t we be looking within?

We have to find our own way home - back to the self: To take small steps on the journey. If we stray a bit, no recriminations, but instead a pat on the back for the good steps we have already taken. Let us notice what we have done right and how far we have come; in the next moment we can get right back on our inward path. This is the most important journey we will ever take - the route to the self.

Because when we learn to really love ourselves, no one can trivialize us, disturb our inner peace, manipulate us or instill negativity in our hearts. We let all the remarks slide off. We eat right and exercise. We rest when we are tired. We value our time and space. Our bodies reflect our positive attitude by responding with energy and good health.

Often I am challenged during a workshop: “You make it sound very simple. I find it so hard to love myself and have a good self-image.” Here is how to get to the heart of the matter:
Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer at Southampton College. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WHLI 1100AM in New York City , produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com

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Content copyright © 2013 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
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