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BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor

How to Boost Your Self-Confidence

You feel anxious about mingling at a party wondering if anyone will talk to you or if you will say anything engaging. You repeatedly check your appearance in the mirror. Perhaps, you failed at something you worked on and feel inadequate. You might even feel that you have been victimized and are not responsible for being fired or divorced. All these symptoms share a common denominator: you are lacking self-confidence. Ironically being told that you lack self-confidence does not make you feel any better about yourself!

Most daily stressors gnaw at the root of self-esteem. Filling your thoughts with perceived enemies and old conflicts drains your spirit and saps your creative joy. However, no one can trivialize you, label you, or crush your convictions if you have a fundamental sense of who you are; if you see yourself as a separate identity from that of spouse, children and career.

When I reinvented myself into a second career of stress-management, writing and radio show hosting, some people tried to chip away at my creativity and confidence; in fact, a close friend tried to destabilize my motivation: “Who are you to do this? Stick to gardening.” At a prestigious medical center where I was interviewed for a speaking engagement a social worker said, “You’re not important enough to address my group.” I found this remark particularly ironic as social workers generally tell everyone that he or she is important. Did I waver? Well, perhaps a little bit, but I am passionate about what I do and believe that the harder I work, the luckier I get. So, I shed the toxic friends, learned from my mistakes, studied more, listened more and believed more. Then one day I addressed an auditorium filled with a few hundred people. One woman grabbed my hand as I entered the room from the back door making my way to the podium. I will never forget her words: “You look like someone important. Are you today’s speaker?” I smiled, “We are all important.” She nodded and said, “I think I’m going to enjoy today’s program.”

So how do you generate confidence and keep it going? Although others can often take it away, no one can hand it to you. It requires a leap of faith in yourself believing that if you work hard, are persistent, and connect with positive people, you will reap the rewards.

Here is how to take the first steps. The secret to getting ahead is getting started:
Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, and a personal trainer. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WHLI 1100AM in New York City , produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com

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Content copyright © 2013 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Debbie Mandel. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Debbie Mandel for details.

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