What is your place in this world? Do you feel like you don’t fit in? Have you ever sat down on a lonely evening and began to watch TV, acutely aware of the interaction of others on the screen? Have you ever wished that for a moment you could be them? Rich, popular, and having what seems like everything? Perhaps it is a silly commercial with romance and love, happiness you wish you had and you weep at the thought? It doesn’t matter that it isn’t all real, it’s what you want.
But it seems elusive.
Your life feels empty. The thought crosses your mind “I will never be happy.” You feel worthless, hopeless…lost. You really do want someone to ask you what is wrong. But when they do you get angry. Your gut is churning all the time and all you wish is to be someone else.
Sometimes sleep provides an escape, sometimes it never comes. Sometimes the moment you wake your thoughts of your life or of something that has happened are instantly there. Waking is no longer pleasant. You look forward to nothing.
You’ve called out to God… but feel he doesn’t answer. You’ve gone to your friends, but they don’t understand. Everyone has a solution – but they don’t walk in your shoes. You think to yourself, “They don’t really care anyway.”
Is this you? Maybe part of it applies?
Depression is not a disease that typically appears overnight. It is a creeping, overwhelming weed that pulls joy and peace out of your life. It can be related to a traumatic incident one has experienced, loss, dissatisfaction, or diminished feelings of self-worth. PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is the term applied to the former – when one has experienced or witnessed something traumatic. MDD, or Major Depressive Disorder, also referred to as clinical depression is typically viewed as a more severe, persistent form of depression. It is often debilitating to the point of negatively affecting one’s physical health, sometimes their ability to communicate and can involve suicidal tendencies or hallucinations.
Depression affects every person differently. Symptoms may include:
• Abnormal sleep patterns
• Lethargy, fatigue
• Hyperactivity, restlessness
• Sadness, crying
• Loss of interest in normal activities
• Decreased concentration
• Suicidal thoughts
Depression is a lonely island. Remember that movie with Tom Hanks stranded on an island with no one to talk to but his ball?
Most of us are not so resourceful when confronted with extreme stress or grief, and persistent feelings of depression left untreated can lead to suicide. What seems impossible to believe at the time is that you can actually feel better. That life can improve. Is it time for you to see a mental health professional?
Please visit the sites referenced at the bottom. Not only will you find a wealth of information on this disorder but treatment options and suggestions. We also have a section here at Bella specifically dedicated to educating on depression and helping YOU.
Need some advice or encouragement? Contact the editor here at mental health or at our depression site through the contact button at each article page or on the editorial page.