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A Notice to Our Significant Others

  1. Pamper your woman! Shower her with love and affection.
  2. Duck (a lot).
  3. Let her vent. Remember, she probably doesn't mean it.
  4. If #3 does not apply, you deserve every bit of it ... don't whine.
  5. Making dinner will lessen the trauma, take note: Burnt biscuits will only add to your pain ... Order out.
  6. Speak only when spoken to. Limit your replies to: "Yes, of course you're right darling" and "those jeans never fit better."
  7. Educate yourself on the magic pills your loved one prefers, keeping them on hand is a bonus point for you.
  8. Keep small children (and other helpless creatures) out of the path,
    keeps the casualties to a minimum.
  9. Gifts and "shiny" tokens of affection are advised, just remember these words:
    Bloomingdales, Macys & Spiegel.
  10. Always remember, you are against something way beyond your power.

-- Author Unknown

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