Changing your behavior with your money is darned hard and seniors are probably the most challenged of all. After all, they have lived many years doing it the way they’ve been doing it so why change now? Yet the real question to ask of yourself (if you are a senior) is, “How is that working for you?”

For most of us, some aspect of our money life is not working for us; in fact, it seems to have a life of its own. That very idea is truer than you think! In fact, money is energy; it ebbs and flows just like the ocean waves; in and out, in and out. If we do not understand that flow, we may get confused by it and react in a way that stops its flow, putting up a big barrier to it.

For seniors who have experienced many years of putting up money barriers, the very idea that it could be something within our own control seems ludicrous. We have lived with it for so long it feels normal and realistic. However, the energy of your money is controlled by you even if it appears to be by some outside source. After all, who is in control of Social Security or the payroll of your company? Not us, but others. However, I would like to encourage you to think of this in another way, that all aspects of your money are in your control. You get to decide, you are in charge.

The challenging part here is to accept this reality, take charge, and stop being a victim. I have heard many seniors bemoan the fact that they are on a ‘fixed income’ or living on very little. Many times those comments are made when talking to others about whether they can afford something or not. It seems realistic enough; most certainly, if you are living on social security for instance that the cash flow does not go very far.

The real issue here is what you are accepting as normal, realistic, and common. The minute we accept what comes our way, as if we must just put up with it, or with a big sigh say, “that’s just the way it is in life!” that is when we solidify it as permanent and lasting. Most certainly there is no hope of seeing another way or embracing a new concept if we accept this as out of our control.

I have experienced this very thing myself, in my own money life, as well as when I have helped others more elderly with their money. My own mother, for instance, never had to take care of her financial concerns, relying heavily and entirely on my father. All of that changed when he passed away more than a year ago and she was suddenly in charge of it all. As she and I worked together to put some structure, routine, and wisdom to her money life, she struggled with the ideas and concepts surrounding the handling of her every day monies and the requirements now put upon her.

What I found the most challenging when helping her with her financial affairs was the big wall that was put up the minute a new idea or approach was suggested. Yes, all of us do this in some aspect of our lives, especially with our money, however, that wall seems to be higher, deeper, and denser as we age, and it almost takes a stick of dynamite to remove it. Our beliefs about our talents and ourselves are so deeply ingrained at this point that changing them is nearly impossible.

Except for one thing, anyone can change if they truly desire to do so and make a firm decision to change. Nothing is permanent; just look outside at nature to prove that to you. Nothing stays the same in nature, so why would we think it does for us? We too change, shift and become something new every day. In fact, we age because we do not move, shift and allow change. Keeping our youthful demeanor relies entirely on how easily, simply, and effortlessly we take on something new.

I know for my mother she often stated she was just plain dumb when it came to money, how to handle it and make decisions around it. This very statement keeps her from progressing in any real fashion in knowing her money better; it keeps her stuck just right where she is. The wall is up and no new information or ideas can possibly make it through to her. The barrier is strong; the belief about herself is accepted and normalized.

I encourage her frequently to see it another way, to open up to the freedom and flow of money that it only truly comes abundantly to those who see it that way. Money comes and goes, in and out, and accepting this flow with open arms, embracing those vicissitudes is truly the only way to experience freedom with your money. I encourage you too to see it another way, to open yourself up to new ideas, expressions and concepts. Money is not fixed. Money is not stagnant. Money is not unchanging. Those are self-defeating ideas which keep you stuck right where you are!
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Joan Silva is a spiritually based MONEY Counselor devoted to empowering men, women, couples and small businesses with the tools to live a freedom-based life of their dreams.

You'll love Joan's dynamic way of helping you understand and live in peace with Your Money -- and yourself -- ranging from online money strategies to wealth attraction and success mindset for entrepreneurs.

While Joan is best known for her expertise in financial matters, her clients & students share that her biggest impact comes from her sense of humor and her deeply personal philosophy of "designing your money life to support that which you desire and love" - ensuring your money choices revolve around your own personal values and lifestyle. This is the most important key to bringing you to your ultimate wealth and happiness.
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I strongly encourage you to check out Joan's website (http://www.the-money-minute.com) and see how beautifully she presents conversations and ideas about money...Joan, like me, is a young baby boomer, and a new first-time grandmother. She understands money, and she knows where mature folks are coming from. Hope you enjoyed this guest column. Post any comments on the forum.