Recently, I had to clear two very different hurdles in advocating for my son. One was related to his medical condition; the other was related to an ongoing concern we parents had about one of his outside homeschooling classes.

Through both, I learned a few things about being an advocate for your son:

Document everything (names, dates, and times) with factual narrative. Leave out any personal impressions, and stick clearly to what happened and what was said. If need be, scour the many free sites online that provide fill-in-the-blank form letters for just about every situation.

Make the time: It may mean many phone calls, e-mails and/or visits. It's vital you make the time to dedicate to this. Swap childcare with another parent, if you must or take some of your paid time off, for those who work outside of the home.

Don't ignore the situation: Often we think, "I’m making too much of this" or "Someone else will take care of this", but our sons need to know they can count on us!

Be persistent. It may take awhile before you see the desired results, but continue to pursue the issue. Be ready to escalate it to the next level, if the situation warrants it.

Realize that you are your son's voice: Our children rely on us to deal with the things they can't or don't have the skills yet to navigate.

Involve him if you can: Explain to your son what is going on and give him options whenever and wherever possible. There are things that are not appropriate to share, but for the things that are, and that can empower him, do.

Model civil behavior: When it comes to our children, "Mother Bear" can take over. Remember that your son is watching you and how you go about resolving the issue.

When resolved, make sure your son knows that it's over, and thank those who helped you.


It's not always easy to carve out the time or energy to do, but being an advocate for your son shows him he can rely on you and can come to your with his concerns, knowing you will help him. Never trivialize his feelings, but talk him through them and help him see a better way of resolving his concerns. This will help him to weed out those things that need further action from those that don't. Knowing you are on his side will give him validation and help strengthen the bond you have with him.