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Boost Your Relationship with Humor

Do you get annoyed when he teases you about being clumsy or talking too much? Do you wonder if you married one of the Three Stooges when he tells a rehearsed joke with crass body language? Do both of you sit at the kitchen table slinging sarcastic remarks at each other? It’s time to consciously use humor as a strategy to charm him, not alienate. Humor can make your marriage happier than ever! Allow yourself to explore his comic range and you just might like it. You will discover that men use humor to achieve status and women laugh at men’s jokes to show appreciation. Now reverse the roles: When men laugh at women’s jokes and women produce the humor there is truly a happy blend.

Neuroscience explains that what makes you laugh is not only subjective, but based on gender. Women are self-mocking and use improvised humor. This makes sense because women are caregivers and nurturers and use this style of humor to cope with the never-ending stream of little emergencies. Research shows that for women self-deprecating humor actually lowers their blood pressure! On the other hand, men do not make fun of themselves because they link laughter to status. Making fun of themselves would lower their status and reduce their dominance while making fun of others increases their status. Men usually tell a rehearsed joke because of a guaranteed response.

If you want to charm the man in your life and make him feel on top of the world, laugh at his jokes. You know the way you did when you were first going out together when everything he said made you giggle. An extra incentive: He will be eager to please you and do stuff around the house. Understanding his style of humor can make him more endearing as well as reveal important clues about how to be in-sync with him.


Debbie Mandel, MA is the author of Changing Habits: The Caregivers' Total Workout and Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, a personal trainer and mind/body lecturer. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WGBB AM1240 in New York City , produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/ TV and print media. To learn more visit: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com

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