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BellaOnline's Stress Management Editor

He's Home for Lunch Now

Most women who take their marriage vows do so with the understanding, the unwritten agreement that their man will be home only: for dinner, weekends and holidays, and of course the occasional flu or sprain ("In sickness or in health"). However, the recession has changed the dynamics of the marriage contract. Here's what female readers have frantically emailed me: "I feel like I have adopted an adult child." "He wants to be included in everything I do like we are joined at the hip."

I need girlfriend therapy!" "Now he wants me to prepare three-course lunches for him while he doesn't do his fair share around the house." "Now that he's home, all he thinks about is sex. He wants a quickie when I am busy with my to-do list." In summation Prince Charming has turned into a channel surfing toad plopped on the couch with a ravenous appetite for...

You feel wed locked.

Clearly, you are experiencing a bit of road rage in your own living room. Before you run him over, make sure to shift gears. Self improvement means home improvement. This is the time to get yourself in balance and think straight. Consider the teachings of martial arts which resemble "marital arts." Don't oppose an aggressor's strength head on. Instead the idea is to yield to an oncoming force in such a way that it is unable to harm you, yet at the same time redirecting its strength away from you, guiding the force where you wish.

Here's how to get his attention. Don't waste it with judgment or nagging. Make him feel that he indispensable. If he can't feel safe at home, where can he? Learn the difference between force and power. Don't compel him; but do tune into him to expand your sphere of influence.When he finally goes back to work, you will miss him- honest!
For more information on managing your stress and reclaiming your life read my book, Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life. To listen to archived radio shows with guest experts visit Turn On Your Inner Light Radio Show

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Content copyright © 2013 by Debbie Mandel. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Debbie Mandel. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Debbie Mandel for details.

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