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BellaOnline's Divorce Editor

Divorce and Father's Day

Father's Day is almost here. There will be millions of fathers celebrating this day with their children. There will be breakfasts, golf, sports, and spending time with family.

Divorced fathers' stories may vary. Some do not have bitter divorces with their children's mothers. Their ex-wives understand the importance of children spending this day with their fathers. In fact, many ex-wives actually assist their children with shopping and making presents. This includes making cards or making a present. This cooperation and positive spirit is important for the children. Unfortunately this is not the situation for all families.

Sometimes the fault is the ex-husband and father, sometimes it is the ex-wife and mother and sometimes it is a combination of both. There are some fathers who do not want to maintain a relationship with their children. This is extremely unfortunate. This can occur even when the children's mother is supportive. Fathers who do not bother with their children, even though their ex-wives are supportive of the relationship should re-examine their actions. Children love their fathers and the lack of a father's involvement with a child can be devastating. It is never too late to make an effort. While there may be anger and resentment, this can be overcome with professional help.

Another situation involves fathers who love their children, but are kept from the children by bitter and angry ex-wives. They cannot accept that a father can still love his children even though the marriage is over. They will often use all means, including lying to alienate the children from their father. This is wrong. Children need and deserve both parents. Although these women are suffering, this is not an excuse or justification to keep children from a loving father. Professional help should be sought to assist with this situation as well. Alienated fathers should not blame themselves and should continue to make efforts to have a relationship with their children.

It is truly imperative that both parents work together to make the pain of divorce easier on a child. For all divorced fathers, love your children and spend time with them. It does not matter how much money you spend, your time and attention is very important and will make a difference in their lives.

Happy Father's Day to all fathers.

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