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Sharon Michaels
BellaOnline's Self Development Editor

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Recognizing Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage is about allowing negativity to control the future. It doesn’t seem logical that we could actually be our own worse enemies. Sometimes though, our inward and outward negativity can get the best of us. Self-sabotage affects our health, wealth and desire to go forward in positive ways.

I consider myself an expert on the subject of self-sabotage. For most of my adult life I seemed to be sabotaging my happiness and success. The sad part, I didn’t even recognize I was doing anything negative. Honestly, I thought it was outside forces like bad luck, other people or may be just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I didn’t realize that my inside thinking was controlling my outward results.

Self-sabotage can be subtle, like forgetting an appointment or feeling more tired than usual. Or it can be blatant, like the neglect of personal hygiene, eating binges, overspending or overdrinking.

So what is self-sabotage? Here is my definition: Self-sabotage are those destructive and negative behaviors that keep you from living the positive, joyful and productive life you know you could and should to be living.

The good news: You can change the negative behaviors that are no longer positively serving you in mind, body and spirit. The key to any long-lasting change is being able to recognize the habits and behaviors that are positively serving you from the ones that are not. It’s about enhancing the positive habits and eliminating the negative ones. Recognition is one of the first steps to conquering the negativity of self-sabotage.

Here are some questions that could help identify self-sabotaging habits:

1. Do you often set yourself up for disappointment? Example: You make plans to do something fun or pleasurable and then cancel at the last minute?

2. Do you have a difficult time saying “no” to yourself when it comes to over spending, eating or drinking?

3. After a disappointment, do you spend days reliving the negativity of the disappointment? Do you analyze it, replay it over and over in your mind and second-guess the results?

4. If something goes wrong, do you believe it is generally your fault?

5. Do you set goals and don’t often achieve them?

As you read the questions, what seems to be the overall theme? Is it one of optimism, forgiveness, hope and joy? Or, is it one of negativity, inner struggle and turmoil?

Self-saboteurs are generally very hard on themselves. Many times they think in terms of all or nothing. They leave themselves very little room for error or compromise.

To most self-saboteurs, being uncomfortable has become their comfort zone.

If you suspect you may be sabotaging the good things in your life, begin to notice the day-to-day way you handle disappointment or negativity. Do you talk to yourself in positive and encouraging ways or do you berate yourself? Do you look at how many ways can you make things happen for the positive or do you allow yourself to become discouraged?

Keep a journal and take a look at your day-to-day entries. Are you proud of your life and your accomplishments? Do you cheer yourself on to bigger and better goals?

Self-sabotage thrives on negativity. Recognizing inner negativity is a first step to changing what isn’t working into something more positive and productive for your life now and into the future.

Remember, self-sabotage is self-imposed.

**If you believe you may have an emotional or physical condition, you should consult a health care professional for diagnosis, help and treatment. This article is not intended to give medical or emotional advice. It is for entertainment purposes only.**

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For more personal and professional development tips, info and success strategies – subscribe to Sharon’s weekly Unlimited Success For Women Ezine http://unlimitedsuccessforwomen
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Content copyright © 2009 by Sharon Michaels. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Sharon Michaels. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Sharon Michaels for details.

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