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Blonde Jokes

Guest Author - Lynne Chapman

Psted 5/28/05
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "But we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid The pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a Measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length.
__________________________________________________________________________
Posted 7/28/04
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof.
The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.
The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!"
The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen
yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead.
"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead.
"No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!
"OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps.
SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the
pavement like a pancake.
Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen
yell "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . ."

Posted 8/8/03
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman:
"I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen".
The surprised salesman replies: "But, madam, computers do not have curtains"!!!....
And the blonde said:

"Helloooo.... I've got Windows"!!!!!!!!!!!!
_____________________________________________

7/5/03 A Blonde's CookBook
> >MONDAY:
It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food
cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.
The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
> >> >
> >TUESDAY:
Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without
dressing. So I didn't dress.
What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.
> >> >
> >WEDNESDAY:
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming
the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath.
I can't say it improved the rice any.
> > THURSDAY:
Today Bob asked for salad again.
I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients,
then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.
Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
> >> >
> >FRIDAY:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
> >> >
> >SATURDAY:
Bob did the shopping today and brought home a
chicken He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy).
For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten.
> >> >
> >SUNDAY:
Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast.
All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius.
I put the hamburger in the oven and set the
controls for roast. It still came out hamburger,
much to my disappointment.
> >> >
> >> >GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY,
___________________________________________________________________________
6/28/03
A blonde goes into her Kitchen
She goes to her cubbord and gets
Out a box of cheerios.She acidentaly
drops them on the floor. Ssshe then
cries Ooooh!! Donut Seeds!!!!

__________________________________________________________________________
posted August , 2002
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a
double-decker bus for a weekend for a bowling tournament in Atlantic City.

The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus, and the blonde team rides
on the top level. The brunette team down below is whooping it up, having a
great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the
blondes upstairs. She decides to go up and investigate. When the brunette
reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight
ahead at the road and clutching the seats in front of them. They all had
white knuckles.
The brunette says, "What's goin' on up here? We're having a great time
downstairs!" One of the blondes looks up
and says to her, "Yeah, but you've got a Driver!"

__________________________________________________________________
posted July 12, 2001 07:17 AM
A blond comes into the doctor´s office. She pokes herself with her finger in the arm, and says, "Doctor, it hurts here!" Pokes herself in the hand, "And here!" Pokes herself in the stomach, "And here!". She pokes herself in several more places, all with the same result.
The doctor says, "Of course it hurts. Your finger is broken!"

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Content copyright © 2013 by Lynne Chapman. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Lynne Chapman. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.

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