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BellaOnline's Married No Kids Editor


Women Who Donít Want Children

Guest Author - Previous BellaOnline Editor

People from all areas of the country, with different careers, income levels, religions, and ethnicity decide to remain child free. There are several reasons for choosing not to have children. Maybe you love your life just the way it is. Maybe you donít think you can afford to have a family. Or perhaps that ďmaternal instinctĒ just isnít inside of you.

Lisa, 32, likes having the freedom to do what she wants, when she wants. ďI like my house in order. I donít like a lot of noise or chaos in my home. I like my stuff in order. I donít want kids the same way some people say they donít want a cat or dog. I donít want the responsibility and I donít want to give up my financial independence. I donít want to be a parent the same way I didnít want to be a doctor Ė it just didnít interest me enough.Ē

She didnít come to this decision on a whim. She thought about it long and hard, and did some soul searching before finally deciding she really didnít want any children. ďI make important decisions very, very carefully,Ē she says. ďI think things through. I always did. Iím also a planner. I like to envision how I would want my life to be and then map out the steps to get there. All the things I envision donít involve kids. For me the decision isnít an issue Ė itís everyone elseís reaction to my decision that gets difficult. Iím an only child and my sister-in-law is childfree so Iím the Ďgreat hopeí for grandkids. Sorry but itís not happening.Ē

Diana has similar feelings. ďI am not career oriented at all, but I do value my child free lifestyle, privacy, freedom, and a sex life. I like having money to spend and having a clean house. I dread having to go through the whole pregnancy charade! I also hate the thought of the pain in childbirth!!! And I like the fact that I still have the same body I had in high school too!Ē

Rebeccaís decision not to have kids was solidified by watching her friends and family become parents. ďThey Ďnever have time for themselves,í Ďit's so hard,í ĎI'm so busy.í The worst part is listening to the complaining and then all the "horrible things" that have happened to their bodies after childbirth, you know, the natural things. It's to the point now where we don't really like spending time with them anymore. It's very annoying. So, our response to them when they nag us about having children is that ĎYou're not making it look like any fun.íĒ

Not wanting children doesnít necessarily mean that you donít like kids. ďDon't get me wrong,Ē says Diana ďI love kids. I just like them even more if I can leave at the end of the day or send them home to their parents.Ē

Though the people who visit Married No Kids come from a variety of backgrounds, the one thing we all have in common is a sense of isolation, and a desire to connect with people like us.

Itís important to remember that weíre not alone! There are lots of women out there who donít want children. And thereís nothing wrong with us for making that decision!
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