On Being German

Having lived in Germany for years, I have my own opinions about what Germans are like and what intercultural bumps and bruises might arise on both sides. I have talked to many Germans recently about what they think foreigners need to know about Germans, preferably before they get here. Some things on this list may surprise you.

Germans are direct

Germans are very direct. In fact, from some perspectives, too direct. Many Germans acknowledge this though - and they are not apologetic about it. What they might tell you, though, is: Don't be offended. We are direct with our opinions and comments, be the comments positive or negative. This is a far cry from some of the beat-around-the-bush let's-not-offend-or-blame strategies many English speakers have - sometimes a little more directness would be a good thing.

From my experience, no news is good news in Germany. Positive feedback is indeed hard won. Feedback, when you get it, will often be critical, which is not necessarily a bad thing. The feedback you receive should be noted and addressed appropriately, because if they took the time to tell you, they feel it is an important issue.

Separation between business and personal

Germans rarely talk about their personal lives. They see a very clear distinction between their personal life and their business life. When asked, a German will of course disclose some personal information about their family and hobbies, but they may think you are being rather forward when you ask. Those of us from across the pond in North America tend to get to the personal rather quickly in a business relationship (Questions such as: Are you married? Do you have children? What do you like to do on the weekend? - may be common fodder over a business dinner), but many Germans may find this a bit much during your first encounter. Or even subsequent encounters. Combine this idea with: Small talk is a waste of time. Ouch! Time is valuable and small talk takes away from valuable business time.

A love of rules

For Germans, everything must be in ordnung. Everything must be in order: There is a right way to do things and a wrong way. Some of the rules are unwritten but many of them are official. The unwritten rules are very hard to follow - and to identify, unless a German kindly points them out to us foreigners.

Take for example the grocery check-out line. There may (or may not be - I have yet to figure it out) unwritten rules about putting the little "separator" down on the belt between your purchases and the other people's in line. Some will tell you that it is your responsibility to put the little separator between your purchases and those of the person behind you. The dirty looks you get in line will tell you. But other times, the person in front of you doesn't put the separator down behind their purchases. How is one to know the right etiquette?

Another example: Crossing the street on foot against the light. This is a definite no-no in Germany. You could be standing in a desolate part of town in the middle of the night with absolutely no traffic in sight, and a German person will wait until the light turns green to cross the road on foot. Now, where I come from, we are not very good role models because we jay walk at regular intervals. In Germany, there is a good reason to wait for the green signal to cross the road on foot: You could, and might, get a ticket from the Polizei if they are paying attention!

Be punctual

Germans are almost always punctual. If the meeting starts at 10:00, you will find most participants in the room by 10:00. Something new I have just heard of: Being ueber-puenktlich (overly punctual). A German person told me this week that being punctual is not only good but expected. But being 5 minutes early is an even better idea! I don't imagine this would happen very often in North America.

Be prepared

One more thing about having a meeting with Germans: Be prepared! We approach things differently than they do. We often want the group to brainstorm and come up with some alternatives together. If you do this, a German person will almost surely think you are unprepared and will wonder why you are having the group do your work. They will be fully prepared, slide presentation in tow.

There are many more observations that can be made about Germans, by Germans, and by expats in Germany, on being German. It is a wonderful culture that sometimes takes a bit of getting used to. My advice: Be as prepared as possible before you live or work in Germany, be open-minded, be aware of how you behave and what you can expect, and experience as much as you can.