Sharknado Movie Review (Yep.)

Sharknado Movie Review (Yep.)
Director: Anthony C. Ferrante
Release Date: July 11th, 2013
Running Time: 86 minutes
MPAA Rating: TV-14
Editor’s Rating: Four sharks out of four sharks

There really is no way to express how amazing this movie is. However, it might serve to give a quick history the movies that came before, and the channel that never gave up on terrible movies. Forewarning – this is an incredibly quick history.

The cable Science Fiction channel, known as SciFi and more recently, SyFy, has quite a few shows it produces and plays, but it cannot take up the entirety of its airtime, so as filler for the midnight hours, they’ve taken to airing the cheesiest horror flicks imaginable to fill the gap.

Before long, it had become a tradition, and the layers of cinematic awfulness seemed to compress into a diamond. An archetype of all the stupid plot holes, unbelievable special effects, terrible acting, and unbelievable premises. Behold: Sharknado.

The story revolves around celebrity surfer-turned-bar-owner Fin (no, I’m not kidding), played by Ian Ziering, or as most of you know him, Steve from Beverly Hills 90120. Ziering apparently took this role because he wanted to impress his kids.

He accomplished this, I guess.

Anyway, Fin’s (ugh) bar is at ground zero for the sharknado’s landfall. He, his hot co-worker (played by random eye candy), and the dad from Home Alone flee the bar and try to find his family, to ensure their safety. His ex-wife and daughter, played by Tara Reid and another nameless person, are eventually rounded up. Once the gang’s all together, they hatch a plan that only Wile. E Coyote would consider a good idea to stop the whirling mass of fins and death. Somehow it works, and a scene unfolds that defies all logic and become legend. I don’t want to spoil it, even if you’ve seen the movie, but it’s really worth seeing.

Is this movie terrible? Yes. But is it enjoyable? Absolutely. It’s the product of decades of horrible movies, it's the apex of this craft. The movie finds the humor in crap, in the unprofessional and unbelievable. At no point does the movie actually seem like it’s taking itself seriously, and neither should you. From lines that no human being would ever say, to special effects that make Ray Harryhausen roll in his grave, Sharknado delivers cinematic crap, but it does so in such a way that it’s like watching your worst guilty pleasure.

I guess this movie isn't for kids because of blood and stuff, but honestly, this is so ridiculous that a quick talk with kids of the appropriate age should set them straight so they can laugh along with you. If you’re into stuff that’s so over the top it’s funny, Sharknado is the movie for you.

**I watched this movie on the premium cable channel SyFy, from a TV subscription service I pay for. I was not reimbursed for writing this review.**

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